Women want real men but in today's society that is damn hard to find. Women have lost faith, respect, trust and especially ATTRACTION for the mamma's boys that walk the streets today-ones who should be checking female on their physical form instead of male. Most "men" haven't the slightest clue on how to be a man who does it for her and himself. So, what is a real man?

The only quality that separates a man from a boy is courage-that's it. The willingness and courage to push past fears, obstacles, resistance etc is what makes a man. All other qualities that come to mind when you think of what a REAL man is only come as a result of having courage.

A man is honest. Without courage you can't be honest because honesty isn't always the popular choice. When you are completely honest you run the risk of losing many things including friends, family, jobs and WOMEN.

People are basically full of shit and will lie to you and themselves all day long. Whenever they meet someone who is completely honest it scares the crap out of them because they fear that this person might reveal to them something they didn't want to admit to themselves. Whether it be a fear, insecurity, judgment of themselves and so on, meeting an honest person is not something they want to do because they don't have the courage to be honest in the first place.

I can't count how many friends and women I have lost when I made the choice to completely honest with myself and others.

People generally lie for two reasons:

1. To hold onto something they don't want to lose


2. Not lose the possibility of gaining something

So you might lie to your girlfriend about watching porn because you don't want to lose her or you might tell a date that you drive a BMW 500 series and that it's in the shop because you don't want to lose out on getting the girl.

People lie because they are scared of losing or scared of not getting but it's all based in FEAR. To be completely honest you must have the courage to push past that fear, to say fuck it and do it anyways.

All fears are illusions, they aren't real. You might feel them completely, the nervousness, the shaky hands but they aren't real. Every time after you push past a fear and your heart rate calms down you ALWAYS think "that wasn't that bad, what the hell was I scared of?"

A man is confident. Confidence doesn't come from NLP, Hypnosis, of any other emotional balancing system. Those things definitely HELP but they will never work as well as having courage. Every time you push past a fear you gain confidence. Why?

The mind/ego is a fear producing machine. It loves to keep you nice and scared because it will have the greatest control over you. Control is how the ego gets fed and survives. If it were to lose all control over you, you would no longer have an ego.

Every time you push past an illusion based fear the ego/mind loses its control over you and you gain more confidence. Your insecure and doubtful thoughts no longer have as great of a pull because you realize that fear is an illusion. Identifying with the mind and the thoughts that it produces is why you are insecure and not confident in the first place.

A man is strong. A woman needs to know that you are stronger than her and can protect her if the situation calls for it. If you aren't strong, she will know and test you until she has completely lost ALL attraction for you.

Strength comes from having the courage to push past fears and to be able to withstand rough times. This lifestyle is not an easy one. On this path you will be met with many difficult situations that will bring you down.

The weak ones stay down, the strong get back up and keep going.

Pushing through difficult, sometimes painful situations enough times will allow you to build massive confidence in yourself. You will know on a deep level that no matter how bad a situation gets you will be able to go through it and survive.

Women will pick up on this and they will just know who they are dealing with.

A man takes charge and takes control of his life. Women are attracted to men who take life by the balls and get things done. You can't wait around for your life to magically become perfect or for a playboy model to knock down your door and demand to give you a blow job. You need to be the one to make things happen.

"Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease or women."-David Deida

In order to take the reins of your own life you must not be a victim to the world and take full response-ability for it. You must not make excuses and blame others for how your life is. This requires massive amounts of courage to do.

Most people don't take full response-ability for their lives because it scares them too much. If they take control of their lives and failed they would have no one to blame but themselves. The thought of failure is too much for most people to bare so they point their finger to the outside world for their own shortcomings and hide in their excuses. A man never hides from his fears and never makes excuses.

A man is fearless. Well this isn't exactly true. It might appear that he is fearless because he has become comfortable being scared and pushing through that fear but he still feels it from time to time. The difference is that he feels this fear and doesn't let it cripple him. He actively seeks out his own fears and conquers them to the point where there are few or none left inside of him.

A man knows who he is and what he wants. To know who you are you must have the courage to look WITHIN for the answers. Looking inward for the truth can be a scary thing to do. Most people avoid being honest with themselves for fear that they might find something they didn't want to.

It's not your insecurities, fears and doubts that take you down, it's you inability to recognize them and to become aware of them that hurts you the most. When you become aware of something it no longer has the ability to run your life. Take time to sit down and think about what your strengths, weaknesses, fears and doubts are.

Also, take time to think about what you want out of life and what you want to get from getting good with women.

Do you want a girlfriend?

Just get this part of your life handled?

Sleep with a 1,000 women?

Figure out what it is you want for yourself, NOT what someone else wants but what YOU desire. Most people haven't the slightest idea what they want out of life so they go with what everyone else wants-"he seems happy, let me try to get what he has"

For more on figuring out what you want to do with your life I suggest reading my article on How to Find and Live Your Mission:

A man is a leader. Here is a quote from a post I wrote about being a leader:

"A TRUE LEADER leads without needing any follows. He doesn't mind if people go in the direction that HE CHOOSES but he DOESN'T NEED them to because he would do it anyways. He knows what he wants in life and doesn't care if people want to go down that direction. He doesn't manipulate or control them into going where he wants to go, he simply goes WITHOUT PERMISSION from others. "

Courage comes down to a choice that you make. It's the same choice that everyone else has. The choice to take full response-ability to do something about your life or sit in the corner sucking your thumb waiting for success to come knocking on your door. The choice to not let fear cripple you or let it destroy everything you desire in life.

The choice to be a man or not. NO ONE is born a man, they make the choice to be one.

So what do you chose?

-Alex

©2008

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