What He Wants Could Be What They All Want

I had a heated argument with my partner the other day. He had to do an important presentation for his company the next day; but had delayed preparing and finishing up his presentation early until the day before the actual presentation.

Subsequently, he didn't do well for his presentation, and was criticized by his superior. He came back with a bad mood and when he gave me a call; there was anger, disappointment and frustration in his voice. He was shouting and wailing at the same time. We ended up having a heated argument over the phone. I felt that he deserved what he had gone through, since he was not capable of organizing himself and his schedule to finish up his report and presentation early. He was so mad at me that he didn't talk to me for over a week!

I was upset over this incident. It was not my intention to damage our relationship over such a small matter. It was then I realized I had violated one of the most important basic needs of any humans. Most, if not all, people need to be right. I had made him wrong for being so incapable by scolding him.

Over the past weekend, he called me again. It happened that he had some conflicts with one of his co-worker, who had been giving him some problems during work. As usual, he began to vent his frustrations over the phone. Having realized the mistake I had made previously, this time, instead of emphazing how his hot-temperedness and impatience must have provoked his co-worker, I stressed how sorry I was to hear about his bad day at work. There was an immediate change in his attitude; and he became a lot clamer during our short conversation.

I let him be right, which was what he wanted. He let me have a peaceful time with him, which is what I had wanted.

Your tip for the day: People need to be right.

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