A common question that races through the mind of anyone who has been on a successful first date or meeting is: 'When will I see him / her again?' The waiting game can be hard to deal with. Even worse are the irrational emotions and thoughts that run through your mind during the waiting period.

The waiting game is probably the worst game that anyone plays and the only one where winning control over our minds seems impossible. Numerous questions ominously loom in our minds when he or she hasn't called after the first date. "Didn't he / she like me?" "Did I wear the wrong outfit?" "Did I offend them?" "Maybe they met someone else."

To aid in calming your nerves and get you back on track, helping you stop the cycle of personal doubt and feeling like your stock has plummeted, please read on because here are a few strategies you need to take to heart and put into action:

1. In order to stop thinking about them you must distract yourself. Go to a friend's house and watch an action movie or mystery thriller you've never seen before. Whatever you do, DON'T watch a romantic movie and forget about reading a book; something will always remind you of them. This will help you establish the attitude of: 'I'll see them when I see them.'

They will call if they're interested and if they're just waiting to call until they don't have anything better to do, don't make time for them! A good rule of thumb is, if they don't have time for you, you most certainly do not have time for them.

2. Stop wondering where they are and asking yourself if they're out with someone else. They might be, but worrying about it won't change the fact that you are hunkering down at home feeling sorry for yourself. Get proactive and get involved in life. Who needs someone who doesn't value them? You don't! Join a club. Call some friends for a bike journey or a board game, but don't sit home waiting wondering. An active imagination is great if you're a creator or inventor, but if your imagination is only active because you're insecure about where you stand with someone, you're just beating yourself up with unnecessary worry that won't change anything. If you can't seem to get past it, then call and ask straight out what the deal is. That way you'll at least have an answer that will help you make a more informed decision.

3. Stop asking yourself the question of why didn't he or she call. There is usually only one answer (possibly two) to this question and that's because they weren't interested enough to do so. However, you can give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps a family emergency came up or they were sick. Only accept this excuse once. If it becomes a habit, you're back burner bait and they're just hanging you on a string. Forget about them. If the latter is the case you need to stop sitting around wondering why. Start meeting other people that will be worthy of dating you. The best thing for you to do in all cases is to stay active and move on with your life until it either works in your favor or you get the answer of 'not interested' from them. Once you become active, seeking out safari adventures or just a day at the beach, you'll add value to your stock and the right person will come along for you.

©2006 Jaci Rae

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