25 Words or Less: Connecting With Personal Ads

Does this sound familiar? You only intended to get something cold to drink at the local Quick Trip® and on the way back to your car, you stopped by the rusty rack outside and scanned the selection of local magazines chock full of personal ads.

You couldn't resist picking up the copy with a picture of a good looking couple proclaimed to be their most recent "personal ads" success story. Suddenly, you find yourself scanning the "personals," strictly for entertainment purposes, of course. You flip over to whatever section you might fit into to see what kind of people might be there. Oh, what fun!

You notice that there are some words in those ads that always seem to pop up; attractive and fun loving. Pretty redundant, huh? The people all appear to be exercise freaks, love to have fun and love the outdoors; surely they over-exaggerate. Your chances of meeting that special someone from this motley crew are about as slim as winning the lottery.

What kind of a person would really advertise for a love partner? They would have to be someone who can't get a date; social outcasts, right? They all have to be fifty pounds overweight, totally desperate for love and look like Elmer Fudd or Roseanne.

Your thoughts turn to who would actually be brave enough to call the phone number listed at the end of the ad and just how much cash would someone be willing to part with to place these silly personal ads or make that 900 number call?

Our passion to find a playmate with whom we can share laughs, have fun with or perhaps even spend the rest of our life with is so strong that we often go to almost any lengths to make the connection.

Personal ads is big business. You will find them everywhere; magazines, newspapers, television, radio, billboards and the latest high tech ads are now appearing on the internet and the online services.

Those who are willing to learn the strategies of placing an ad, using the right words for maximum results, how to return calls, introducing yourself and where to place the ad, may be in for a great surprise. What if they worked?

While some might scoff at the very thought of "advertising" for a love partner, the many successful relationships that have occurred as a result of personal ads tells me that it is a viable way to attract a playmate, with a few caveats.

By applying the appropriate safety precautions, i.e., never give anyone your home or work address and avoid home phone numbers until you know them better, meet in busy public places (preferably in the afternoon), and in the beginning avoid "romantic dinners". . . meeting people by personal ads has come of age. When you discover someone you want to meet, ask them if they mind if you bring a friend. If this freaks them out, run the other way.

By the way, the same advice is relavant for people who decide to meet someone in person that they have only met in an online chat room. Remember, it is very easy to hide behind a screen name.

Advertising yourself is a fun way to meet people. It's about meeting people for the purpose of having someone special in your life, to have someone to talk with, to develop a healthy love relationship with, for mutual interests or just for the fun of meeting new friends.

My work with Dr. John Gray, Ph.D., author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," as former host of his online chat room and my "Relationship Enrichment LoveShops" presented nationally, have highlighted two of the most common problems that occur in relationships.

First is undelivered communications.

When meeting singles through the personals, it is wise to play your cards close until you have had several face-to-face meetings and feel comfortable enough to begin fully sharing yourself. This occurs when there is a real connection; a mutual attraction and you both choose to pursue a relationship together.

Often we withhold what we know really needs to be said and by doing so, we temporarily shut down communications in the relationship. Trust is the foundation of all healthy love relationships. There can be no trust without conversation; no genuine intimacy without trust.

One of the secrets to having healthy love relationships is to never be afraid to openly and honestly discuss whatever is relevant to the success of the relationship.

The second most common problem in relationships is unfulfilled expectations.

When looking for a serious love relationship in the personal ads, it is important to put aside your expectations about how you "think" things will work out and be okay with the way they do.

Once you know you are moving in the direction of a relationship, it is wise to let go of all of your expectations. A problem occurs when we expect our partner to love us a certain way and when they don't, we are disappointed or, we expect them to do something or behave in a certain way, they don't (they missed our subtle hints), and again we experience disappointment. By the way, subtle hints don't work. No one can read your mind. Unfulfilled expectations cause relationship problems.

Instead we must learn to focus on what we "need" from the relationship. Everyone needs love. Discover the freedom that comes from allowing our love partner to love us the way "they" love us not the way we "expect" them to love us! We can best accomplish this by first discovering what we individually need from the relationship, then mutually communicating those needs to our love partner.

So, if you decide to try the personal ads, here are my suggestions in 25 words or less:

     Express yourself with honest words. Exercise caution 
     when answering ads. Drop your expectations. Be 
     yourself. Meet in a public place. Focus on having fun.

When you are ready. . . love will find you.

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Internet Love Deceptions

Are YOU Being Scammed Right Now?

Can you really trust the person you are dating online? Are YOU Being Deceived By The Person YOU Think YOU Are Dating Online? Are YOU One of the THOUSANDS of PEOPLE who are being deceived and are losing tens of thousands of dollars right now?

If you think this could be a joke, or it couldn't happen to you, then think again!!

About 150 people, who thought they were in love, just like you, reportedly lost a total of over $1,000,000.00 ( yes, that's one million dollars) in just about three months to scammers !!!

And in that same group, about 1,800 other people refused to make any disclosures as to their financial losses, for various reasons .What was clear was the fact that millions of dollars are being lost per month to these scams.

If you are dating online or involved in any relationship online, especially with a person with links to Nigeria, the West African Coast or you know someone who is, then you need to read this urgently now !!!

If the person you are dating or chatting with is claiming to be a US citizen, but is now working abroad, especially in Nigeria, then you must read this too.

Who knows whose life you may be saving next?

Just because people do not tell you about it does not mean it is not happening. The scams are happening to people regardless of age, sex, educational level, status in life, background, marital status, or even race. Single ladies and men, elderly women and men, all types of professionals, and many other people have lost money, and their hearts too. It took them months to recover from the effects on them. And their families never knew until it hit them. In some cases, the men or ladies had gone on to intimate their families that they were bringing a fiancé or fiancée home. Only for them to discover at the last minute that there was no lover, leaving many families disappointed.

And to many people, they had to suffer the pains and the shame too. The embarrassments, the guilt feelings, the suicide battles, the empty, lonely feelings and all that. Not a few felt like ending their lives as a result of what happened to them. Losing a lover in real life is bad enough. But getting to discover that you were being deceived all the time, and seeing that there was no real person makes it much worse. It takes a lot of effort by many to get over such an event.

If it were the problem of just a few people, it could be waved away as being just a small problem. But in just a matter of 5 months in 2005 alone, thousands of people in the USA have owned up to being scammed. And from firsthand experience gathered right at the places where the scams happen, lots of people are still being scammed. Thousands upon thousands of people are being set up for a scam right at this very moment.

By getting the details in this guide, you never know whose life, money and emotions you could be saving.

• It could be that of someone close to you.
• It could be that of someone precious to you.
• It could be that of an acquaintance.
• It could even be yours.

So, why not get this e-book today, and educate yourself on how to stop yourself or anyone else close to you, or indeed anyone else from being scammed? Remember, the key to stopping the scams is not in the FBI or the police or any other agency. They are doing all they can, but it is not stopping the scams from proliferating all over the place. Remember -- The key to stopping the scams is by educating yourself!