"Pain is inevitable. Suffering optional." -Anonymous

There has been much written about old, "Father Time." Many people believe that time does heal all wounds and in most cases, it does. But, I'm sure you've witnessed at least one person who just couldn't seem to let go of the past and move on with their life. Basically, they have forfeited living a happy life because they chose to hang onto nothing but memories.

This self-imposed prison is, to put it mildly, a waste of one's life. This is a perfect example of time not healings all wounds. The fact of the matter is-time heals all wounds only when you take the right steps in healing your wounds. If you choose to stay stuck in the past, what good does it do you? For some, it protects then from ever getting hurt again. The irony is, not living your life the way you were intended to, not only hurts you, but it also hurts those who love you.

Witnessing this ongoing "victim role" is pathetic to watch. It teaches your children that you don't value them enough to be the best that you can be for them. It reeks of self-pity and totally undermines your sense of self-worth. Remember, we're not talking about the "usual" mourning period, we are talking about those who refuse to let go of what didn't work out the way they wanted.

On the other hand, when you allow yourself some time to get through the process and choose to live with a different attitude, you can change the way you will experience your life. Everyone has struggles in life, but it's not what happens to us, it's how we handle what happens to us that matters the most.

If someone you knew was going through a tough time you would help them through it. So why don't you help yourself? Take positive steps that will put you on the path of healing your pain. Holding onto something that doesn't even exist anymore is senseless. Begin to shift the negative energy it takes for you to be miserable, to being grateful for what's good in your life.

Your future is yours to create. There's a saying, "You can either create heaven out of hell or hell out of heaven. It's your choice. Focus your thoughts on what you want, not on what you don't want. It's all in what you tell yourself about the situation.

Start valuing yourself, start walking down a path to success and happiness. Realize the past is behind you. Only you can make the choice. If you do what it takes, healing your wounds will simply be a matter of time.

Read more about it in the book, "There Is Life After What's-His-Name"

©2009 Susan Russo

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