Smart Dating Begins When You Focus On You
by
You may hate to date but you do it anyway, suffering anxiety and insecurity about how to get it right. . Or you may so hate to date that you avoid it altogether and suffer from loneliness and depression. But we want you to know that there is a simple solution to the dating dilemma, one you can practice immediately. You see, before we met, Judith had dated for nearly thirty years and she knows all about doing it the wrong way. Jim had been married twice (and gone with several women) before we met and he hadn't bothered to date--choosing to go from relationship to relationship. That's why we are so passionate about helping you become a smart dater, so you can develop the skills you will need in a committed relationship--all the while being able to enjoy the dating process. You see, the number one reason that dating feels like such a trial is that you've got your focus in the wrong place. You literally put yourself up to be judged by those you meet and go out with wondering:
Fill in the blank in the following phrase "Am I . . .enough?" with whatever you worry about. You'll see that, indeed, it's you that's made dating such a trial, with each of your dates assigned the role of judge, jury, and hang-man/woman-- in charge of answering your worrisome questions about your value--by either a request for a date or another date--or not. And you are powerless. Well, no more. Take the focus back from worrying about the other person's opinion. Focus instead on developing your own self-respect. Rely on your own judgment about you and your experience. Am I having a good time or am I just going along with what's happening? Am I behaving with integrity or am I giving myself away to the other person? Am I being treated well or am I being put down, mistreated in some way? And a sub-set for that last one needs to include:
And, bottom line, if your date isn't interested in seeing you again, that's not a judgement against you. It's a success. You've weeded out a non-candidate. Because, after all, why would you want to be with someone who isn't interested in you? When you are a smart dater you wouldn't. Ever. Ever. Ever. Because that would mean you've given your value over to that other person and that's dumb. Don't be dumb. . Be a smart dater and keep the focus on you and what's right for you. Then every single date will be a success--one way or the other. Stop the frustration of the dating game and check out Judith & Jim's dating revolution in a box - Smart Dating for Success Every Time - Guaranteed! ©2006
Back To Article IndexQuestions, Questions and More Questions
After you have had a few dates with someone and you think it might be going somewhere, you begin to ask more serious questions about their childhood, family, job etc. Eventually the relationship might progress to where the really tough questions must be asked. Like "have you ever slept with someone without using a condom" or "how much debt do you have"? There is no easy way to bring up these questions. 1000 Questions for Couples: What you absolutely must know about the person you are with is going to make those difficult questions much easier to ask. The questions start off easy like "Has anyone dear to you died? How did you handle it" and "About what things are you most selfish." They slowly progress (just like your relationship should) until you get to those questions that you simply can't avoid if you are going to commit your life to living with someone. If you value your relationship, I urge you to ask these 1000 Questions for Couples. |
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