The number one question I get is "How do I get a man to fall in love with me?" The real question should be "Why should he fall in love with me?" I had this conversation with a co-worker back some time ago. He went on and on about what he wanted in a partner--and it was a long wish list of what she can do for him. After he finished I asked, "What do you have to offer her?" It stopped him dead in his tracks. He had never thought about it. Have you?

We all want a partner who can fulfill our basic needs. However we also need to be able to fulfill our partner's needs if we want him to fall in love with us. There are six basic needs a man wants from a woman:

1. Being his match, sharing the same ideas and future goals like having kids, where to live, etc.

2. Having great qualities that demonstrate strong character:

• Honest - being consistent in words and actions
• A genuine giver (men get tired of women who take advantage of them.)
• Kind to everyone (being rude to the waiter is a turn off for men.)
• A love for people and life
• Mild in temper, patient. Avoid being moody and sensitive.

The list goes on and on.... (Think about your best qualities and your worst qualities, working on the more challenging traits)

3. Having fun, like ice-skating, tennis, going for a run in the park. Have a hobby or activity in your life. It's amazing how many women don't...at all.

4. Great with kids. Even if he doesn't plan on having kids, men love to be nurtured and mothers are great at that.

5. The ability to manage a household: finances, cleaning, cooking and more. Do you have to (nor should you) do all the work? Nope...but the fact remains--men love women who can do these things .

6. Knowing you can be his best friend, to depend on you to be a good listener and not judge him. This kind of bond takes time to develop.

7. Take care of yourself physically. You do not have to be a 'supermodel', ladies. But keep yourself clean, neat and stylish and watch the results. Your "perfectly imperfect" match will adore you for it.

So what about "sex"? Sure a guy needs that from a woman...but in healthy relationships men and women both acknowledge and take care of each other's needs in that area. In other words...it's yet another aspect of a healthy relationship where there should be both give and take.

Have fun,

©2008 Emily McKay

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