The Singles Cafe
The Singles Cafe
Self Image - Part 1by"When you get what you want in your struggle for self and the world makes you king for a day Then go to a mirror and look at yourself and see what your face has to say for it isn't your father, or mother or wife who judgement upon you must pass the one who means most in your life everyday is the face looking back from the glass you may follow the whole world down the pathway of life and get pats on your back as you pass but your final reward will be heartache and tears if you've cheated the man in the glass." Every successful person knows the vital role that their self- image, or the picture they hold of themselves, plays in their success. This snapshot is probably the most important single factor which will determine how successful you will be in life- it is your destiny. I firmly believe that holding a poor self-image short-circuits a person's chances of success. Your self-image is what you feel about yourself at the deepest level. It is your truth- because you subconsciously believe it about yourself. One's self image (especially with sensitive people) is a very fragile thing. It can be severely damaged by loss of job, mental breakdown or other trauma. Once broken it has to be slowly rebuilt, brick by brick, which sometimes can take a number of years before the person becomes their old self once again. People closest to you have a significant impact on ones self-image. If they don't believe in you, it makes it very hard. How you see yourself personally and professionally also determines the level of your own motivation. A positive self-image means that your sub-conscious mind can be controlled by eliminating negative thoughts and attitudes. Your subconscious mind determines your attitude to events and experiences. It is not what happens to you that is important, it is HOW you react to events. "I am upset not by events, but rather by the way I view them." Holding a good self image means seeing yourself as a unique and significant person who has a meaningful part to play in the world. You then add greater meaning to your life. If you have a strong inner belief in yourself and your values, you can change your behaviour subjectively by changing your attitudes of mind or your inner beliefs. This is what is known as "self talk". For example: You can turn a negative attitude about your weaknesses to a positive one regarding your strengths. Don't get bogged down with circumstances. The 'loser' with a negative self image often blames others for their adverse circumstances in life and usually suffers from depression. This negative self image then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as failure follows failure in their life. On the other hand, the person with a good self image EXPECTS to live up to their expectations and achieve success, which is what usually happens. If you feel good about yourself, the brain sends out positive messages to your body ( as seen in one's body language) , so that you can act confidently and give off positive "vibes". This in turn develops confidence, which makes you feel more positive about having a go at something you would not normally tackle. We all know and envy those people who project an aura of confidence and success. Don't we? Thus, self image is a vital self-management skill, and like all skills, it needs constant exercise to nourish: "water the flowers instead of the weeds in your garden." How long has it been since we visited ourselves by looking closely at ourselves? The technical word for this is introspection. How Do You See Yourself Now? 1. What do you do well? 2. What do you like most about yourself? 3. What results/achievements are you most proud of? Your self image can be an invisible ceiling. Don't sell yourself short, because everyone has the potential to do anything. Aim high. If you train fleas to jump in a glass jar, even if you remove the jar, they do not jump any higher. Don't be a flea! Say to yourself: "I need to lift the lid of my unlimited potential." Lifting the Lid Unlimited Potential Self Image Self imposed ceiling Limited Potential HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE FUTURE? Write a short note to yourself on who you want to be and what you want to achieve by the year 2000 (or year 2003 seeing we are now nearly at the turn of the century as I update this manuscript). Utilise visual imagery (or mental pictures) and talk to yourself in a quiet place. Make a decision to change (if you want to) and where you want to go. Involve yourself in clear specific goals. © Show All Articles By Craig LockAuthors Note: Craig Lock has written extensively in the field of self help. This extract is from his first published book HANDBOOK FOR SURVIVAL IN THE NINETIES (which has been updated and renamed HOW TO SURVIVE IN THE NEW MILLENNIUM) . These books are available here "HANDBOOK TO SURVIVE THE NINETIES AND THE NEW CENTURY A collection of writings on various subjects to help every man or woman survive in a rapidly changing, uncertain world. HANDBOOK is written in a simple style to help the 'everyperson' make the most of themselves and their lives easier. It takes an introductory look at what motivates us and how to set goals... to find our true purpose for being on this planet. Also how to handle the stresses life throws at us. I found it very helpful for my own life." - Birgitta, Minerva Press (UK) PS: Dear Americans, please excuse my British English spelling. Very Colonial! I am quite happy for these articles to be used and distributed by other electronic and other magazines (as long as credit is given). If they help others out there in any way, then I'm happy. Center
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