1. Not moving past the "small stuff" quickly and letting it go.
2. Constantly bringing up past issues that have already been resolved and put to bed. Don't bring up the past, it's behind you.
3. Daddy lives in his own house; your partner is not your Dad! If you are looking for him to be your dad, please seek out counseling. You need an equal in your relationship.
4. "Dirty work" is not just for the man. You can take the car to get an oil change if your partner doesn't have time and you don't know how to do it. You are as capable as he is to mow the lawn and take out the garbage.
5. Holding onto to resentments and withholding your love. Learn to say sorry or I love you. Love is a choice and a decision you make daily.
6. Using the phrases, "You never?" "You always?" and others like these in the heat of anger on a constant basis.
7. Not getting some "me" time.
8. Being too knaggy and belittling. Stop complaining and start asking questions instead. Instead of saying, 'I always have to remind you to take out the garbage,' why not say, "Honey, it would make me so happy and there might even be a bonus if you took the garbage out now. Could you do that for me?"
9. Don't take the joy out of your partner when they show you a good deed done. If it's not done the way you like it, too bad. Be happy it was done at all and celebrate it. Don't redo it. That's an insult. (Men, that's not an excuse to do a shoddy job just to get it done. If you don't take pride in your paid work and constantly do a shoddy job, won't you be fired? Take the same care and pride you do at work because nothing is as important as those you love.)
10. Learn to be a sexual being if you aren't and your partner is. Get some professional help and learn to overcome shyness, past hurts and wrongs and other things that may get in your way.

One last note for women: Be a cheerleader for your partner and you won't regret it. They need to know you're on their side.

©2006 Jaci Rae

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