The memo went out a few weeks ago. Your company is planning a big bash at a really nice place downtown. The food and music will be great and the air festive.

So, why are you racking your brains for a way to bow out gracefully? Perhaps you can be away or maybe a family or other emergency can be invented? Anything seems better than coming dateless once again to the office holiday party.

Or, maybe, you can still find a date...

If you are among the many singles that have come to dread this season opener, you may be in need of a little support and advice on handling this yearly ritual. Let's begin with your list of options:

• Attend without a date


• Politely decline in advance, saying you will be away during that time


• Decline because you have to attend another event you have already committed to


• Come up with a last minute family or other emergency


• Find a date

You first task is to decide which one of these options is best for you. My guess is that most of you will be choosing either going dateless or finding a date. After all, it is your party and you really would like to go, if only...

If your choice is to go dateless, you are probably focused on what others may think (dateless again?), or how you will feel being without a date when "everyone" else has one.

We all know that there really is nothing you can do about what others may think. However, how you approach a solo evening is up to you. Begin with planning in advance who you will be spending the most time with. Yes, you will "do the rounds", but you will want to make sure you are seated for dinner with co-workers you will have the most fun with.

Perhaps you can plan something earlier in the day with good friends. Shopping, an early movie or a tree trimming party would help make the day an enjoyable one, regardless of your dateless evening.

Or, you can cut the office party short and meet up with friends for a late movie, live music, etc. Either way, you are guaranteed some easy play and relaxation with friends.

If you want to attend your party with a date, it's time to get busy and creative. Work through the usual list of ways to find a date first. These generally include:

• Asking a good friend


• Asking an acquaintance


• Asking friends if they know of anyone who would be open to attending a nice party as your date


• Asking a relative, neighbor

If none of these are workable options, consider something new and creative. What about one of these?

• Put a line in your personal ad letting people know you are looking for a date for this event. A pre-planned, pre-paid date may be interesting and eye-catching.


• Place a free personal ad in your local paper describing your right office party date type. Include date only, with details to follow.


• Consider offering a swap in the above two. I'll go to yours if you go to mine.


• Log onto craigslist.com and post a notice, again giving only the date and area. Details will follow if a good candidate responds.

Would you be surprised to know that there are many singles like yourself looking for compatible people to go to parties and events with? There are also many folks who are new to an area, recently out of a relationship, etc. who are looking for friendship or someone to share interests with.

The trick is in finding people who would be compatible with you and your interests. As long as you follow the usual rules of screening and safety, these options could be fun and could lead to a nice evening, a new friend, a potential love or all of the above.

©2004

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