No Pretense Dating
by
Here is an idea for making the dating process more real. The next time you are out on a first or second date, be yourself. Drop all pretense of trying to look or sound good. Drop trying to impress the person you are interested in. Don't take up conversations about topics that don't interest you, but instead talk about issues that touch you deeply. Instead of glossing over who you are, reveal yourself just enough for the person to get a good sense of you. This may sound like a radical idea, but is it? Think about your life and the people you meet everyday. Remember the people you feel drawn to and are interested in. Those people tend to have a sparkle in their eyes. They seem to radiate a special something that makes you want to spend more time with them. Often, these are the people who are comfortable with themselves. Comfortable with revealing who they are, without the need of a false front. Their ability to be themselves makes them magnetic and attractive. Try this the next time you are in a conversation. Talk about subjects that really matter to you. Instead of commenting on subjects like perhaps the weather or movies. Perhaps it will be work,family,friends, or a hobby that are your passionate. Although there is some wisdom in staying away from potentially controversial topics such as politics or religion. If it matters to you, then it's a good topic for conversation. More important than the topic you speak about is connecting with the person. Look him or her deeply in the eyes when you are speaking about what matters to you. Then watch the reaction. Some people will be overjoyed that finally they have met someone real. They will gladly listen, then share on the same level about themselves. A genuine connection may be formed this way. Some people will either ignore your words or ignore your attempt to connect or even try to argue about the topic you have brought up. If this happens, it tells you something about the person you are with. Sometimes it tells you that you are not with the right person. Sometimes it tells you the person is not having a good day. At the very least, you learn something about how and whether to bring up that particular topic again with that person. Isn't this something: you get to be yourself, and possibly get to forge a genuine connection with a new person. You may learn important things about the other person that you would not find out otherwise until much later into the relationship. These benefits may be worth the personal risk of being genuinely yourself. If you have not visited my website, WhatItTakes.com lately, you are in for a treat. The first phase of the site face- lift is finished, and the site is now very clearly, very logically laid out. Now, you can get to the things you want even faster. Find classes at www.whatittakes.com/classesFind newsletter article archive at www.whatittakes.com/Archive. Find a list of all relationship coaching services at http://www.whatittakes.com/Coaching/coachingservices.html. And more. Visit WhatItTakes.com and enjoy! ©2004 Show All Articles By Rinatta Paries
Back To Article IndexSecrets of Flirting with Men
Do you know how to flirt? When was the last time you flirted? Think it over... You are never - never - too young or too old to flirt. In fact, I can only think of ONE situation in which someone should NOT flirt, and that would be if you happen to be a nun. You're not a nun? I thought not. Okay, there went your last excuse for not flirting regularly. Oh, you're married? All the more reason to flirt. You have a live-in flirting partner. Flirting is a subject which is very close to my heart, and always has been. Since I was a teenager, I have been studying every book in the world on how to get a man and how to make a man happy. Since I was a teenager, I have been studying every book in the world on how to get a man and how to make a man happy. When you really, truly love a subject, that's when you can teach people about it. I created the "Secrets of Flirting with Men" class, and it's my "baby." Even if you have no earthly interest in flirting (in which case, we need to check your pulse immediately), take a look at what sparked my own interest in flirting at the tender age of twelve.
If you have not been flirting lately, then you just don't know what you've been missing - and maybe it's time to come alive again.
These things are part of my class on flirting: How to meet his deepest psychological needs is only discussed at the very end of the class - for reasons that are explained in the book. |
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