Nice Guys Finish Last? Not With This Girl!

I have often heard the phrase "nice guys finish last".

I have spent my entire adult life looking for that truly "nice" guy.

I very much enjoyed the article "Nice Guy Self-Check" written by Henry Velez (Editor; MonkeySHINES! Cyber-Mag) in which he refers to the self-proclaimed "nice guys". Well, I guess that term IS quite overused and everyone has their own opinion on what constitues a "nice guy" status.

Yes, Henry, I agree with you... for me it can be broken down into a basic character trait...kindess. So overlooked and forgotten is that trait. Come on guys, if you truly want to call yourself a "nice guy" you must first do a little self-anaylization and think about how YOU like to be treated. Isn't kindness the first thing on your list? Maybe it should be.

Followed by honesty, patience, compassion, understanding, faithfulness, forgiveness, and so many more things (not necessarily in that order but you get the picture).

Isn't that what love is? If that's not your idea of love then maybe you'd better wait until your standards mature a bit more before you begin your search for a life partner. Otherwise, you'll more than likely get involved with someone for all the wrong reasons and pay the price in the end.

You may be saying hey, she's gorgeous, smart, sexy, the sex is great, so it must be right! WRONG! Look a little deeper guys. Not saying that your ideal partner can't be all those things, not at all, just that beauty IS much more than skin deep and beauty fades with age so make sure that when it does.. what you're left with is something beautiful as well. Hopefully even more beautiful than the exterior.

Over the years I have seen so many of these truly "nice guys" get involved with women who took advantage of them, became controlling, took them for granted, and after getting everything they could from them... kicked them to the curb.

Go figure. These women stated they wanted a "nice guy" and then they treated him like a bag of trash.

Or, maybe even a worse case scenario is the woman that DOESN'T kick her nice guy to the curb but rather continues to take advantage of him, treat him like a doormat, and abuse him for years. These poor guys are left with virtually no self-esteem, wimpering, powerless, unhappy... and with no idea how they got themselves into this situation in the first place! Thus, the "Nice guys finish last" phrase comes into the picture.

Well, yes in this case I guess that's true.

What's the problem here? Uhhh... well, looks like the "nice" guy chose the "not-so-nice" gal.

Be careful nice guys, it seems to me you so too often end up with the not-so-nice gals.

Yes, Henry was right in this regard too... you need to take the lead. Be straightforward and honest about what you want and yes, a little aggression (in the positive sense) is good and very refreshing to us single ladies who are tired of always taking the lead.

I don't mean be controlling, I mean by making informed decisions on what you want in a mate and having the guts to not worry about what anyone else thinks and take some initiative and be the nice guy you are without allowing yourself to get trampled on.

Don't worry about whether or not your "nice guy" image isn't macho to your other guy friends. They're not going home with you at the end of the day, are they?

Isn't choosing the right partner the most important decision you make in your life? So why do so many people choose a mate so quickly without really knowing? How do you really know for sure if you've found the right one?

Well, this is just my own personal opinion but I believe that when it's truly right you know it in the deepest depths of your soul. There are no insecurities or doubts, no jealousies, no games being played, etc... just a true, honest, selfless love that you can't even begin to understand unless you experience it. And the true test of whether it's right or not...

You have to truly FEEL the love coming from the other person, knowing that they love you just as truely and deeply as you love them. Is it a rare thing? You bet it is.

I don't know about you but after having made so many mistakes in relationships over the years I was willing to wait for it, even if it never happened and I had to grow old alone. You know that old saying "it always happens when you least expect it"? Well, I think that's true. Don't be blind to your possibilities but at the same time don't look too hard or make impulsive decisions. Learn to be happy with yourself and you just might find it when and where you least expect it.

I am happy to say that I finally found my "nice guy" and I plan on treating him like a king for the rest of his life. He deserves it. This girl knows a good thing when she sees it since I've had plenty of experience on the other side over the years.

So, if you're truly a nice guy, don't despair. Just be smarter next time and be SURE you find a "nice girl".

I promise if you do you'll never finish last.

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