It is Tuesday evenings. Joann is once again in the couple's bedroom. Joann is once again lying in bed naked with a bed sheet and thin blanket covering her. The bedroom environment once again consists of a few lit candles and once again soft music is playing in the background. Joann is relaxing in her bed again. She once again reaches for the phone to dial Jeff's number. (The phone is running)

Jeff (He picks up the phone)
Hello

Joann
Hello Jeff, how are you this evening?

Jeff
Who am I speaking to?

Joann
This is Joann Alex's wife.

Jeff (speaking very serious)
Joann I don't think it's proper conduct for you to be calling me. Is your husband home?

Joann
No. I sent him on a few errands. He won't be back for hours. It takes him all day to do something right.

Jeff
Why do you have such a negative opinion of him?

Joann
Because his opinions of me are negative.

Jeff (speaking very serious)
Joann please do not call this again (Joann cuts in)

Joann (speaking very softly)
I just wanted to say I am sorry for how I acted over the phone yesterday. I am not really like that.

Jeff
Joann there is no need for you to say your sorry, okay. I don't care for that. Those things don't work on me. They work on your husband. I have too much living experience. I know when people are sorry. I know when people are pretending to be sorry. I manage people everyday... It evident you have something on your mind.

Joann
Well actually I do. I would like you to talk that textbook talk to me, like you do my husband.

Jeff
Why? Are you trying to figure out ways to manipulate me? Are you trying to discover my areas of weakness? Why do you want to talk to me?

Joann
Let me confess something to you. When I said you did not impress me with your intelligence, I was lying. You do impress me.

Jeff (smiling)
Thank you... What is it you want to know?

Joann
Tell me anything you want me to know. Anything that could help me!

Jeff
Are you serious, you really want my help?

Joann (speaking with a liar's tongue)
Yes I really want your help. I am afraid of losing my husband.

Jeff
Okay I will help you... Are you attracted to your husband? Or were you attracted to the fact he was attracted to you?

Joann
Both!

Jeff
But which one is stronger?

Joann
Both

Jeff
In my opinion you don't act like a woman that has attractions for her husband.

Joann
You are entitled to your opinion. You don't know my feelings.

Jeff
I say that because your affection for your husband is not deep. You are overly critical of him. Maybe if he were the total package you would treat him better. I believe you are attracted to him physically but not attracted to his intellectual skills or personal skills.

Joann
What intellectual skills... what personal skills?

Jeff
When you met your husband, was you alone or were you lonely?

Joann
Neither! I had friends to associate with. Friends that I would go out with. I just did not have a relationship partner.

Jeff
The reason why I asked you that question is some people marry for reasons of loneliness. They find it difficult to be alone. They start to become desperate and start seeking out other desperate people for purposes of marriage. They tend to misrepresent themselves to land a marriage mate faster.

Joann (speaking very angry)
I don't know what you are talking about. That is not a description of me.

Jeff
Joann, what are you looking for in a husband?

Joann
I am looking for a bread winner. Someone that makes more money than I do. Someone that can pay all the bills! Not someone that simply wants to go half on bills! I want a total provider not a partial provider.

Jeff
Joann, have you ever heard of the value-for-value concept?

Joann
No I have it.

Jeff
The value-for-value concept is when both people value each other. It is hard to have that concept in your relationship when you don't respect or admire the person you are with... Do you respect and admire your husband?

Joann
I am attracted to him does that count?

Jeff (shaking his head with disbelief)
Lets move on to something else... Did you misrepresent yourself just to get a husband?

Joann (speaking with a liar's tongue)
No I did not.

Jeff
The reason why I asked you that question is people misrepresent themselves all the time. But sooner or later the real you is discovered. You can't hide "you" forever... Do you feel your husband misrepresented himself?

Joann (speaking disappointed)
Yes he did. I thought he would be more of a financial leader. But I am the leader financially.

Jeff
He does help out with expenses right?

Joann (speaking with a loud voice)
I want him to pay all the expenses.

Jeff (shaking his head with disbelief)
I get the impression that you both falsely advertised yourselves. You both might have had false motives. But that is normal. People lie every day just to get money and sex from people. People even lie to get married. These things happen every day... If you want your husband to be more financial, you need to give him what he wants... A wise man once told me, "In a great marriage, each person basically plays a part that the other really likes". Play your part better.

Joann
I do play that part... My husband and I have sex 3 times a day. We have sex before we go to bed. We have sex in the middle of the night. We have sex before we go out and leave for work every morning. I give him what he wants. I turn his hard penis into a soft penis. I do this every day.

Jeff
Do you admire him? Do you respect him?

Joann
I give it to him 3 times a day, which should be enough. What more do he want? He's not bringing in top dollars. Now bring in some top dollars maybe things will change. But as of right now, I am not changing a thing.

Jeff
You are using sex as a cure all treatment. The more sex you give him, the more you feel that the problems are being treated. You're looking for something in return, such as money. But at the same time you are denying him admiration and respect... Will you give it to him as he prospers financially?

Joann (speaking very angry)
Sure! It might sound terrible but that is how people are these days. Everything has a price. Sex has a price. Love has a price. Respect has a price... If my husband wants my respect then he will pay my price. Or he will learn to live without it. Just that simple!

Jeff
But this is your husband you are talking about.

Joann (speaking very angry)
I don't care who it is. I had a husband before. He spent more time every where else than he did at home. Plus he was having sex with other women. But he did pay the bills, I 'll. give him credit for that... After that experience I made a promise to myself that my next husband would suffer and feel the pain that I felt. I felt so foolish but I'll never be a fool to a man ever again. I will make a man my fool. And that is what I do to Alex. I make him my fool. Do you think I really need his weekly paycheck? His paycheck is chicken crap... I got a government job. I own 3 houses. I drive two nice cars. I am a college-educated woman. I don't need his chicken crap. I take it just to let him know that being in a relationship with me is not going to be free. He will have to pay to be with me.

Jeff
And I'm sure he is paying everyday. And it's not just monetary. You are playing with his emotions. You are playing with his manhood. You are playing with his self-esteem. You are intentionally tearing him down as a human being. And for what! For something somebody else did... Alex did not do those terrible things to you.

Joann (speaking very angry)
And I'm making sure that he never do.

Jeff
I wish you success in your marriage.

Joann
You don't have to wish me success. Alex is not going anywhere. Alex is not walking away from sex 3 times a day. Alex is not walking away from our shower scenes. Alex loves the way I touch him. You should see the faces he makes when I touch him. Alex doesn't want any other man getting what he gets. He knows what I do to him. I treat him like dirt and give him a difficult time. But at night I make him scream... So I don't need you wishing me success. I am a success.

Jeff
Sex is such a beautiful thing when couples use it properly and wisely. There is nothing wrong with making your husband scream with passion. Just do it for the right reasons. Do it because you love him. Don't do it because it is a relationship strategy. A plan to get over in your relationship. This isn't wartime and your husband is not your enemy.

Joann (being sarcastic)
I will remember that while I am making him scream okay. I'll keep that in mind while his face is turning red. And his "you know what" is rock hard. I'll keep all these things in mind.

Jeff
What right do you have to victimize an innocent person? Just because someone did it to you, does not give you the right to do it to someone else. I realize that being a victim can create anger in a person. But you are responsible for that built in anger of your. You have to control it... We all are victims to something. We all have had people hurt us and disappoint us. But that does not give us the right to mistreat people.

Joann
I have a right to keep my defenses up, to keep my guard up. I have a right to protect myself. And I will do whatever it takes to keep myself from getting hurt. I admit I do irritate my husband. I do nag him. I do constantly complain about everything. But I do these things to make him doubt himself. And it works! He breaks his neck trying to please me and shut me up. And I just sit there and reap all the benefits. It's better that he be a fool then I be a fool.

Jeff
I am sorry life has made you that way.

Joann
Life is beautiful for me. I can live like this for the rest of my life. How I behave is effective. I got a man that caters to me. And actually thinks he has to do so much for me.

Jeff (shaking his head in disbelief)
Let's change the subject for a moment... There's a concept called "The sucker's syndrome. Have you ever heard of it before?

Joann (speaking with sarcasm)
No I haven't. But I'm sure you will tell me what it is.

Jeff (trying not to lose his temper)
Some people not all people are enticed by what they can't have. Some people not all people reject what is readily available to them. (Joann cuts in)

Joann
I agree with you. People are attracted to challenges. Who wants a person that is easy to get? (Jeff cuts in)

Jeff
As I was saying... The danger is you find yourself desiring a person because you think their forbidden fruit so to speak. You trick yourself into thinking you are in love with this person. But in reality you are in love with how difficult this person is being regarding you.

Joann
I agree with you again. I find myself being attracted to men that ignore me. That pays me no attention. But once I get their attention, they usually disappoint me. They turn out to be real losers. Worse than my husband!

Jeff
What you just said is very interesting... As I was saying... You find yourself developing feelings for people for all the wrong reasons. At this point being honest with yourself is not an option. You fall in love for all the wrong reasons. You start to care less about that person's value system. All you are thinking about now is setting a wedding date... You marry that person because they gave you a challenge... Now that you have that person... In time you start to see that person does not have the values you admire and respect in a man.

Joann
I see that in my husband. He does not have the values I truly respect and admire in a man. He's just attractive. He's just my sex partner. He's my walking ATM machine. Someone I get money from. But he's not a man I truly respect and admire.

Jeff
And don't you feel stupid? Don't you feel like a sucker?

Joann (speaking with anger in her voice)
I am nobody's sucker. I get plenty from this marriage... I get sex. I get finances. I can travel without my husband. I can go wherever I want. I can spend my money anyway I want to... My husband buys me nice clothes. I don't buy him anything. He cooks for me. He cleans the house for me sometimes. He does all these things for me. And I still don't listen or respect his marital authority. So as you see I am nobody's sucker.

Jeff
Joann with all due respect! I am starting to see that you are very interesting. Your system of values is interesting as well... But Joann, where is the love in your marriage? Where is the love for your husband?

Joann (speaking emotionally)
Let me tell you something about love. Love is a delusion. If you ever want to know what love really is, get married. Marriage will kill all your delusions... You get to see what love is about when your horny husband is angry with you because you want a night off from sex. Or maybe two nights off! You get to see that love changing right in front of your face. You're only as good as your last sexual encounter. Your last screw.

Jeff
I'm sure Alex can say the same thing. He's only as good as his last mortgage payment. Or his last dollar spent. And he gets to see your love changing right in front of his face as well... And I'm sure you are capable of anger when your husband is not in the mood for sex and you are.

Joann
When is that? He doesn't give me a chance to get angry. He always wants sex.

Jeff
In this day and age you should be happy he behaves like that. That's a compliment to you. Every woman wants a man that is faithful. At least that is what I thought.

Joann
I don't see it as a compliment. The only reason why my husband screws me so much is because "I'm there". "I'm a warm body lying next to him at night"... And he's not faithful to me. He is faithful to my vaginal area and screwing it every night... So there's no need to view my husband's sex life as a compliment.

Jeff
Is your husband having sex with himself? Have I made a mistake somewhere? I thought sex involved two people... So you don't get anything out of it? Alex is the only one enjoying himself?

Joann
Most of the time, yes.

Jeff
At least you didn't say all the time... Let's get back to the issue of love... Where is the love in your marriage? Where is the love for your husband?

Joann (speaking emotionally)
Let me tell you something else about love. A wise old woman told me a long time ago. "If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate books". The point is you have people that are just married. Meaning your marriage is just on paper. And they benefit from a marriage on paper...Then you have people who are in love with their marriage mate. The marriage is based on love... Who I am? I'm a woman that is married.

Jeff (shocked by her comment)
Very interesting and powerful! Very shocking! I never heard nothing like that in my life... You are a woman that is married...I see why you are so angry. A man who you don't love is screwing you 3 times a day. A man who you don't love bearly wants to give you his money and help out with household expenses... In my opinion I think you are also angry because this man, whom you don't love or respect, is not as stupid as you thought he was. And you are starting to see that the joke is on you, not him.

Joann
Like I said you can say whatever you want. You do not know my feelings.

Jeff
Joann there is still hope for you. You can learn how to be a married woman. And you can learn how to love and respect your husband... You're absolutely right! One has nothing to do with the other. But you can learn both.

Joann (speaking in a loud voice)
I don't want too. I just want to be a married woman and reap the benefits of marriage life.

Jeff
Joann you are so much better than that. Why are you doing this to yourself? And why are you doing this to Alex?

Joann
First of all I am not doing anything to myself. My husband is very giving. I just want more. Second, I am not doing anything to my husband. I bring him so much pleasure. You should see how red his face gets. And how loud his sexual noises are... He doesn't look like a person that is being mistreated.

Jeff
I disagree with you. You should see him at work.

Joann
How he acts at work is not my problem. How he acts at home is my problem. And he acts like he can't wait to jump in bed with me and screw my brain out. I can't get any work done around the house.

Jeff
Everything seems to be about sex.

Joann
Because everything is about sex! I learned that in my first marriage. And I am learning that in my second.

Jeff
Joann lets change the subject for a moment...Why is your views on money matters so strong?

Joann
My views are normal. A man is not a man if he cannot provide for his household. A man is not a man if he look to a woman for help. A real man should be able to do it all by himself. Not be asking his woman for help.

Jeff
Don't you think you are being a bit extreme with your views? The object is to help each other not to exploit each other. Sometimes people need help in relationships. I think it's normal to ask your partner for help. I don't see anything wrong with it... Why have a partner if you cannot ask them for help?

Joann
Like I said, I want a man that does not need my help. A man that can do it all by himself.

Jeff
I realize in this society that many women enter into relationships for financial reasons. Many women are taught that they cannot survive without a man's financial support. And I realize it hard for women to compete with men for these high-paying jobs. But a woman does not need a man for financial reasons. Employment is a two-way street. If you need money, get a job. If you need more money, get two jobs. But don't enter into a relationship with a man just to get an extra income. A man is not equal to a part-time job.

Joann
Men are not innocent either. Men use their money to bait women. They do it all the time. They go out and buy expensive clothes, expensive suits, expensive coats and jackets. They buy expensive jewelry and expensive shoes as well... They do this to send a message to women. "Come talk to me, I got what you need". "I got that money". Then when a woman falls for their bait and expect money from them. Then they want to label that woman as a gold digger or being money hungry.... What men need to do is stop lying to us as women.

Jeff
We all need to stop lying. The truth is, we all use what we got to get what we want. Men use money. Women use sex. Women know men like sex. Men know women like money. The things we use to attract each other later become a liability. We all want people to accept us for who we are on the inside. But we use what we are on the outside to attract these people... You are absolutely right! We all need to stop lying.

Joann
I did not say we. I said men need to stop lying to women.

Jeff
Joann try not to be so angry with your husband. It's not his fault that you did not anticipate problems would occur. Problems always occur when you marry for money reasons... Now I understand your money problems pressured you to marry Alex. But your anger is misplaced. You should be angry with someone else. That someone is you. (Joann cuts in)

Joann (speaking with anger)
A real man is a protector. A real man is a provider. And I have a right to be angry. I don't have a protector. I don't have a provider. I have an under achiever as a man. A man that does not want to accept his role as the husband! He is a disappointment to me. A failure! And I hate him for it.

Jeff (speaking softly)
With all due respect! A person has to want to protect and provide for someone. You just can't assume anything these days... I'm sure when Alex married you he assumed he was getting a decent and loving wife. The truth is you are far from decent and loving. You don't want to be a good wife. So people do have choices whether or not to accept their marriage roles. Maybe if you accept your, he will accept his.

Joann (Speaking with anger)
I do accept my role. I render my husband sex.

Jeff (speaking with anger)
Render your husband some respect. Render your husband some love. Render your husband some support. Render your husband some appreciation. Stop rendering sex so much. Render something else. Sex seems to be your bread and butter. Make something else your bread and butter... Why should Alex have to suffer because you hate yourself? Why are you expressing your hatred upon Alex?

Joann (yelling and screaming at Jeff)
Because I hate him... I hate him... I hate him... I hate him... I hate the fact he won't give me all his money. I hate the fact that if I stop screwing him he will leave me. I hate the fact he doesn't need me anymore. I hate the fact that I am losing him. I hate the fact that I need him more than he needs me. I hate him...I hate it... I hate him... I hate him.

Jeff (speaking softly)
You don't hate Alex. You hate yourself. You hate the way you have to behave. It's your way of surviving in this cruel world we live in. Someone taught you that life without a man's finances would be difficult. That being with a man would provide greater security... But security lies within. How you feel about yourself as a human being... And women can survive financially in this society. Women need to learn how to budget their money. And stop trying to look and act like the rich and famous. Buying cars that they can't afford. And they wonder why they can't pay their rent on time. And then when they get too far in debt, then they want to bring a man into the picture. And act like this man is supposed to be their savior or something. Get them out of debt. Then they get mad when their prostitution don't work.

Joann
Why women got to be prostitutes?

Jeff
I did not say women are prostitutes. I'm just describing the methods that some women use as prostitution. It's the method not the actual women that makes it prostitution. The woman knows what she is using to get financial help from a man. And she knows what she has to do to keep that money coming in... You know it's true. And I know it's true.

Joann
That is your opinion and how you see it. I see it differently and so do most women. A man is supposed to help his woman out financially. Why have men in your life then? What good are they to you?

Jeff (shaking with head with disbelief)
Let's change the subject for a moment... You mentioned something earlier about marital authority... What did you mean by that?

Joann
It seems that when a woman gets married to a man, she has no identity at all anymore. All of a sudden this man whom she has known for a year or a few months becomes her representative. All of a sudden the woman becomes a shadow to the man that represents her. It's no longer her opinion. It's his opinion or our opinion. It's no longer her ideas. It's his ideas or our ideas. Everything seems to go through the man... But not in my marriage! Everything goes through me. I'm the man in my marriage. I got all the ideas. I got all the opinions. I represent this marriage not my husband. I'm not a shadow to no one! No man is superior over me. And I'm not inferior to a man.

Jeff (shaking his head in disbelief)
Thank you for explaining yourself. I have no serious comments on what you just said. But throughout history the man did represent his family. Everything concerning his family went through him. Let's say if you wanted to marry someone's daughter. You would go to her father and ask her father for permission to marry her. If the father said yes, then you all could get married. But if the father said no, you could not marry his daughter... The point is you are trying to challenge history and tradition. The man has always had authority over his household. (Joann cuts in)

Joann
No man will ever have authority over my household. I would care less about history and tradition.

Jeff (Being sarcastic)
It must be nice living a life without real intimacy. Always being afraid and terrified. Afraid someone will discover a deep dark secret about you.

Joann (yelling and screaming at Jeff with anger)
Screw you Jeff...Screw you... Screw yourself because no one else will screw you. At least my husband is getting screwed. You wish you were getting screwed as much as he does... Screw you.

Jeff (speaking softly)
Why would you speak that way towards someone trying to help you?

Joann
Screw you. You're not trying to help me. You are trying to hurt my feeling.

Jeff (speaking with a liar's tongue)
Joann I am trying to help you... Let me tell you what I admire about you... First of all I like the fact that you are a self-assured woman. You are sure of yourself and your abilities as a woman... Second, I like that fact that you know what you are entitled to as a wife and a woman. And you are very aggressive in getting things you are entitled to. You make sure Alex gives you the things you need... Most women do not know what to get from a man. Or how to get it! But you do. I like that about you.... Third, you make sure Alex respects your personal rights. Now let's be honest, you don't respect his personal rights but you make sure he respects your. You definitely hinder his freedom of being an adult and a man. But you make sure he doesn't hinder your freedom of being an adult and a woman.

Joann (smiling)
Thank you for admiring those things about me. A woman has to do what a woman has to do. That is my investment and I can't allow him to get away from me. He's one of the good ones. I can't let him get away without a fight.

Jeff (A little disappointed)
So now you are saying that your husband does have value.

Joann
Everyone has some sort of value. Some people you just have to mold them a little bit. Change some things about their character. Make there character more suitable. More to your liking!

Jeff
That is so arrogant. What right do you have to challenge nature? What right do you have to tamper with someone's personality? Their emotional makeup and well being.

Joann
I have every right. This is someone that played an important role in my life.

Jeff (Speaking angry)
But what right do you have to improve another husband being?

Joann
I have every right. Alex is my husband. We share a life together. The better he is the better I am. When he becomes successful I become successful. When he's a failure I am a failure. And I am tired of being a failure... I see good things in my husband but he needs some direction. He needs a woman's direction.

Jeff
That is so arrogant. Maybe you need changing... Stop trying to mold Alex into someone else. You have to accept Alex for being Alex... Stop lying to yourself! You know Alex will never be that man you truly admire and respect. You are wasting his time and most important. You are wasting your time. You are just trying to get whatever you can get out of the marriage. You know Alex is not changing. You know Alex is not capable of being that man you truly admire and respect. You need to stop lying to yourself.

Joann
I have changed men before. And I can change my husband. I was doing a fine job until he got that temporary job at your company. Then he started associating with you. He started talking to you. He listens to you. Now he sounds like a textbook. All intelligent and everything... I'll be glad when he quits that temporary job like he does everything else.

Jeff (speaking angry)
I wish he quit you. I wish he quit being your husband. You really suck as a wife. You know that... You don't even have enough sense to know that Alex is loaded with qualities that you dislike. That you find disgusting. Yet you keep wasting your time with him... Whatever motives you have for staying in your marriage will not erase those things about Alex that you hate. I don't care how much time you invest in him. Or lie to yourself. You are wasting your time with Alex.

Joann
I disagree with you. I was doing okay until he got that temporary job at your company.

Jeff (speaking angry)
Do you realize that Alex is under no obligation to allow you to impose your standards and views upon him? Alex doesn't have to accept what you say to him. Or about him... As long as he loves himself, that is all that counts. You need to learn how to love and accept Alex. No matter how disgusting you think he is.

Joann
No, what I need to do is find my husband a new job. And get him away from you... Once he gets a new job, the friendship is over. No more football games. No more phone calls. No more nothing! You and my husband will no longer have anything in common. Then you and I can be friends. And you can help me sound like a textbook. Sound intelligent.

Jeff
I cannot help people that will not admit or cannot see that they are in a crummy marriage

Joann
Who are you to judge whether a marriage is crummy or not?

Jeff (speaking with anger)
First of all, your husband talks my head off about the problems you all are having in your marriage. Second, you are sneaking behind your husband's back having conversations with a man that is not your husband. You are a married woman. So in reality both of you are putting me in a position to be a judge... I know a crummy marriage when I see it. You all don't even give equally and fairly to each other. You don't give at all. And when you do give it's in the form of sex. That is the only thing you know how to give.... And your husband bearly wants to give you anything. But he does give something. I'll give him credit for that...But you on the other hand I give no credit to. You are wasting valuable time in a marriage that is bringing you pain and discomfort. All for what! What you described earlier in the conversation as chicken crap. That little bit of money he gets paid every week. You the one that's ignorance, not him! Afraid to walk away from a man and a marriage you care nothing about. You the fool! Don't know a crummy marriage from a good marriage.

Joann
My marriage is not crummy. My marriage needs work. My marriage was just find until my husband got that temporary job at your company. And started talking to you.

Jeff (speaking with anger)
Your marriage is crummy... Your marriage is also a joke. It's okay if you allow yourself to suffer in a bad situation. But what right do you have in making your husband suffer? Why should he suffer because you are a selfish person? Only thinking about yourself and what you can get out the deal.

Joann
Like I said my marriage is not crummy. My marriage needs a little work. That is it!

Jeff (speaking with anger)
Your marriage is crummy... You are afraid of being alone. You are afraid you will miss that person you use to yell at and talk down too. That person that you nagged! That person that you said was useless and wasn't nothing. That person who you totally disrespected... Now that person is gone. And you are afraid of looking like a fool. So you stay in a crummy marriage and lie to yourself that everything will be okay in time... And for what, so you don't look like a fool... That is so selfish. You don't love that man or your marriage. You are just afraid of a lifestyle change... When you see your husband at the dinner table and at the breakfast table, what do you really see? I know what you really see. You see a stranger. A stranger you are married to... So don't play your mind games with me. I know your marriage is crummy.... Your husband is going in one direction. And you never had a direction. You were simply going through the motions. Getting everything you can get.

Joann
Like I said for the third time. My marriage is not crummy. It needs work.... I think it's time that you and I end this telephone conversation. (Jeff cuts in)

Jeff (speaking mildly)
Now you want to end this conversation. I was just getting started. I haven't even begun to help you yet. There are so many things I can help you identify. In yourself! In your husband! In your marriage! Don't end the conversation just yet. Give me a few more moments of your time. I can help you see things that you are totally overlooking.

Joann
I'll give you more time but just control your tone of voice. I am starting to think you are angry with me.

Jeff (speaking mildly)
I'm not angry with you. I just get passionate sometimes when I am trying to help people.

Joann
Okay. I will take your word for it.

Jeff
Joann, I have a question for you.

Joann
What's the question?

Jeff
Are you secretly jealous of your husband?

Joann
You got to be kidding! Why would I be jealous of my husband? I am the one that is college educated. I am the one that owns 3 homes and owns 2 cars. I'm the one that makes a decent salary... Alex is just a temporary employee working at your company... Why would I be jealous of that?

Jeff
You refer to your husband as that... But anyway! I asked you that question for a reason.

Joann
What's the reason?

Jeff
People that are secretly jealous of their mates have a tendency of putting their mates down quite often. They are very critical of their mates. Their mate's potential and abilities threatens them. So they do everything in their power to destroy their mates self-esteem and confidence... It's a tactic people use to keep their mates in check. The theory is if you keep your mate in check. Your mate will not leave you for another person.

Joann (speaking with a liar's tongue)
I don't know what you're talking about. I never heard anything so foolish in my life. Where do you get these theories? Are you under the influence right now? Are you doping right now?

Jeff (speaking mildly)
I am fine. I do have a few more questions for you... Do you understand the concept of manhood? The concept of being a man?

Joann (being sarcastic)
Why would I understand or even care about those concepts? I'm not a man. I'm a woman. I have no interest in male issues.

Jeff
You should! You are married to someone of the male gender.

Joann (speaking sarcastic)
I'm married to Alex, okay

Jeff
Let me explain the male concept to you... Men are trained early in their childhood to have certain traits and characteristics. Traits such as being aggressive! Being competitive! And being angry! Men are trained early in their childhood not to be weak. Not to have feelings of confusion! Not to be fearful! Not to have vulnerabilities! Not to have tenderness or compassion! Women are trained early in their childhood to have these traits. Not men!

Joann
I some what agree with you. I do notice that my husband is always angry. And most of the time I have no idea why he's angry anyway... I do notice my husband always competes with me. Everything is a competition with him... My husband is not aggressive at all. I'm the aggressive one. My husband is sort of weak. But that's okay because I'm the strong one in the family... My husband is a confused man... My husband is a fearful man... My husband is a vulnerable man. He's a sucker for a sad story... My husband is a tender and compassionate man. I'll give him credit for that. He will give you the shirt off his back just to see you happy. But at the same time it is irritating seeing him display all these tender and compassionate qualities.

Jeff
And I'm sure it is irritating for your husband as well to see you display your lack of qualities. The qualities you are lacking such as tenderness, affection and compassion. Usually women are taught to be caring, affectionate, compassionate and tender... I don't know what went wrong with you?

Joann
Nothing is wrong with me. I'm very confident with who I am as a wife and as a woman. That is all that matters to me. I love being me. And I love myself.

Jeff
The male concept also teaches men at an early age to be strong, dominant, macho, intelligent, authoritative, fearless, unemotional, and always in control... These traits define manhood. And young men grow up trying to acquire and live up to these traits. Some men are successful at living up to these traits. Some men are not successful at living up to these traits. But these traits are taught early in childhood.

Joann
Once again I somewhat agree with you.... Like I said earlier my husband is not the strong one in our family. I am. My husband is not dominant. I am. My husband is not macho but he tried to be. I'll give him credit for that. My husband is intelligent... My husband is no authority figure. I am the authority figure in my house. I make the decisions... My husband is fearful. He's afraid of losing that little temporary job he has at your company. He's afraid I'll cheat on him with another man. He afraid he will lose his good looks if he don't exercise and diet right. He's afraid to share his feelings with me. He is a fearful person... My husband is very emotional. He gets angry at everything I do and say... And my husband does lack self-control. He can't control his temper or his hormones.

Jeff
Women are taught at an early age to be expressive. Too express their feelings and thoughts! And I see you have no problem expressing how you feel about your husband.

Joann
Not at all!

Jeff
Women are also taught to be submissive and supportive... (Joann cuts in)

Joann (speaking angry)
Submissiveness is not in my vocabulary. I will never submit to a man. As far as being supportive. A real man doesn't need support. He should be able to motivate himself. He should be able to encourage himself. He should be able to lifts himself up. A real man doesn't need a woman to do those things for him. He can do all those things by himself... I just get tired of people saying that a woman is supposed to do so much for a man. Men are supposed to do for us. Not we do for them... I'm not doing anything for a man.

Jeff (remaining calm)
Lastly, the male concept teaches men in their childhood to be defensive, suspicious, and independent. All these things that I mentioned defines manhood.

Joann
I agree with you this time completely... My husband is very defensive. You can't say anything to him without him taking an offense to it... My husband is suspicious of me. He doesn't trust me at all. If I come home five minutes late from work! He'll think I stopped off at a man's house or something... My husband is independent. He wants to do everything by himself. Go places by himself. Purchased things by himself. Watch television by himself. Eat by himself. The only thing he doesn't do by himself is having sex. And I believe he would do that by himself if he could... If it weren't for sex, he probably wouldn't talk to me.

Jeff (remaining calm)
The point is do you now have an idea why males behave the way they behave? Do you now have an idea why your husband is the way he is? Do you now have an idea why you and him clash so much?

Joann
I have no problems with how males were taught to behave. I totally understand it. I'm just not compromising my behavior for any man. I behave the way I want too. I have no problems with submissiveness or being supportive. I just do those things when I feel like it. And 99.9 percent of the time I just don't feel like being submissive or supportive. Its just not who I am as a woman... Maybe I do have some of those male traits. But I am confident that someday I will find a man that will accept all my traits with no problems. And have his own masculine traits that I admire and respect about him as well.

Jeff (remaining calm)
Women are also taught to be trusting and cooperative. (Joann cuts in)

Joann
I will trust no man. And I will not cooperate with any man either. They can trust me and cooperate with me.

Jeff
Do you want to improve your marriage?

Joann
Of course! Who wouldn't want to improve their marriage and make it better?

Jeff
The first thing you need to do is understand your husband's behavior. (Joann cuts in)

Joann
I understand his behavior very well. He behaves like an insecure man. (Jeff cuts in)

Jeff
The second thing you need to do is take a real hard honest look at your behavior. Maybe you are doing something that makes him behave in a negative way... You could be the problem not him. Marriage does consist of two people.

Joann (speaking with firmness)
I'm not the problem. Men just cannot tolerate a strong woman. They want women that are weak. Women they can control and walk over. But no man is controlling me or walking over me... Men don't like women that are successful either. But I am not compromising my success for any man. A man needs to adjust his personality to mind. I'm not adjusting my personality to his.

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