It was a bitter cold, snowy, windy, typical December Sunday afternoon. Jeff and Alex are watching the football game on Jeff's big screen television. This is a Sunday ritual for both of them during football season. Alex's wife is not a football fan. When they use to watch games together, she would talk during the whole game. She would ask questions about every play that just happened. She would ask questions about every player and their life stories. She would also comment on the physical attractions of some players. Alex did not enjoy watching games with his wife.

Alex and Jeff met at their place of employment. Alex is temping at an insurance company working as an office assistant. Jeff is The Director of Customer Complaints. As Director of Customer Complaints, he oversees all departmental activities. All managers and supervisors are under his authority.

Alex was introduced to Jeff by his supervisor, Daniel Jonnbergs, during a sports discussion. Jeff was deeply impressed with Alex's knowledge of sports. From that moment on Alex and Jeff would have sports discussions every day, even during their lunch hour. Jeff also admired Alex for being very hardworking, honest and trustworthy. One day at work, Jeff invited Alex to his home to watch the football game, Alex happily accepted. Jeff and Alex have been watching football games together every Sunday for the last three months. But one Sunday was a little unusual. Alex seemed to be troubled. Alex was not troubled by the fact that Jeff's team was winning and his team was losing. Alex has marital stress on his mind.

Jeff is 52 years of age. Jeff had been married twice and divorced twice. Jeff is a college alumnus. Jeff is a full size man with grayish black hair... Jeff notices that Alex was not enjoying himself, he seemed to be troubled... Alex is a younger man in his middle 30's. Alex works as an office assistant for an employment agency. Alex is going on two years of marriage. Alex is tall, lean and wears baggy clothes... Jeff, although his team was winning, Jeff turned off the game. Jeff and Alex started to converse speaking mildly to each other:

Jeff
What's on your mind Alex? I know that look. I use to have that same look when I was married. I was married twice.

Alex (speaking playfully)
I guess you know that look.

Jeff (speaking seriously)
Yes, I know that look. Would you like to talk about it?

Alex
Sure.

Jeff
Speak your mind young man.

Alex (speaking very softly)
My wife has said to me that she no longer wants me coming over here watching football game with you anymore.

Jeff
I understand Alex I was married twice remember. What do you want to do?

Alex
I want to do what I have been doing for the last 3 months. I drink plenty of beer. I eat plenty of food. You and I relationship discussions! We watch football games on a big screen television. Being here every Sunday is the perfect escape from my wife. Now she wants to put a stop to it.

Jeff (laughing)
Is she open to compromise? You have to compromise in a marriage. Instead of you and I watching games four times a month, maybe we can watch games two times a month. Present that situation to her.

Alex
My wife made it clear to me in so many words, no more football on Sunday unless it is with her

Jeff (once again Jeff is laughing)
Her way or the highway! You know I don't miss those feelings of being controlled anymore or having to deal with a person's insecurities. I don't miss having someone over protective of me, either. Alex this is your decision. This is your life. You have to live with that decision. You have to live with seeing that expression on her face everyday. That expression that said, "I tell my husband what to do". "I am the man in this house, not him".

Alex
Jeff, she can think whatever she wants to, I just want to keep the peace. I get tired of arguing. I am ready to start having affairs. So before I do anything I will regret, I will just stop watching games with you.

Jeff
As long as you can live with your decision, that is fine with me. I just want it to be your decision and not her decision. Because a man need to feel like a man 24 hours a day.

Alex
I am a man, Jeff. My wife is madly in love with me. She wants me to be the center of her universe. I must be doing something right, Jeff.

Jeff (speaking sarcastically)
Of course you are doing something right.

Alex (speaking seriously)
With all due respect, I know you are my boss and I work for you. We watch football games together. I eat up all your food. I drink up all your beer. I also stink up your bathroom. Why the sarcasm all of a sudden?

Jeff (speaking mildly)
Because you are mistaking insecurity, possessiveness, immaturity and controlling behavior as love. That is not love! And because she behaves that way does not mean you fulfill her sexually in the bedroom. She could just be that way. Love and sex does not have anything to do with smothering behavior. I just don't want you to get tired of your wife. Too much togetherness can make a person feel stifled. You start to feel like someone is policing you.

Alex (thinking deeply about what Jeff just said to him)
I am starting to understand what you are saying to me. I do feel like I am being policed in my marriage.

Jeff
Does your wife know you feel that way?

Alex
Yes and No, maybe, who knows! You know how it is in marriage. Sometimes they listen sometimes they don't listen. Sometimes they remember what you said; sometimes they forget what you said.

Jeff
You are absolutely right. You cannot predict what people will remember and what people will forget. You cannot determine whether someone is listening to you or ignoring you. All you can do is communicate and not hold back your feeling. Communication is the key but communicate mildly and respectfully.

Alex
Your absolutely right, Jeff! Let me get home to my wife. Once I am home, I can give her the attention she needs. I will try not to get angry with her for talking too much during the game and asking me stupid questions. I really hate watching the game with her. She finds every player attractive. I will see you tomorrow at work.

Jeff escorts Alex to the door and watches Alex walks to his car. As Alex drives off, Jeff starts to laugh and shake his head with disapproval. Jeff then closes his door, walks over to the sofa and proceeds to watch the football game on his big screen television.

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