Addiction by definition is a repeated craving to obtain or use a substance or activity even if it involves negative and destructive consequences. It is also characterized with dependence, withdrawal and tolerance. This means that if you are addicted to something you find it hard to function properly without taking that substance or having that activity. Love addiction is not something to be taken lightly. It is not something to be glorified or tolerated. It is described as having an obsessive attachment to the person or relationship. Person who is diagnosed with it depends his/her happiness and self worth to his/her partner and in the relationship.

Being with a person with this kind of compulsion is equally dangerous as being the person with the said symptom. People with this kind of addiction can be very irrational and can be very extreme. The cause of love addiction can stem from early abandonment, lack of nurturing and acceptance in the developmental years, they also lack affection and attention, and have a tremendous amount of fear for rejection. Needless to say they have severe low self esteem and have the need for control and power. Being with a person with love addiction can be quite draining, it goes without saying that they are very controlling and very manipulative, they are afraid to be alone which means being overly needy and clingy, they also need constant approval, and they basically doesn't trust anybody, not even their partner.

It can lead to suicide, self harm or mutilation, stalking, rape and yes, even murder. People tend to confuse "true" love from love addiction, especially women. Your partner is positive with this kind of addiction if he/she does dangerous, perilous or destructive acts for your relationship or would go to great extent to be with you. If your lover tells you that he wants to cut off his toe to prove his affection to you, then you should never think twice of running far, far away from him. Another symptom is when your partner feels inadequate, helpless and hopeless without you.

If your lover believes that he or she is not complete without you, then be careful this means that he/she depends his/her emotional needs to you. Everybody remembers the famous line "You complete me" from Jerry Maguire. Every woman really finds it romantic and dreamy but the truth of the matter is Jerry Maguire is a certified love addict. He is afraid to be alone even to the point of marrying a woman just to have somebody with his side. Another perfect example of a love addiction is Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. It's quite a bad example if you ask me.

Nobody should die for love's sake. Another example if your lover is a love addict is when he/she constantly lies or emotionally blackmails you to have his/her way. This is his/her way of manipulating you. Manipulation in the relationship is another defining factor of a love addict. They are very incapable of having a very healthy and long lasting relationship. It's never too late to get help though, like any other form of addictions it can be treated and fixed and it starts by recognizing it and acknowledging it.

©2009 Ruth Purple

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