Let's explore a little and try an experiment. Relax your body, and think of somebody or something you really love. It doesn't matter who or what you choose, only that you feel love when you bring up this memory. Get right into this memory and feel the love. Think of a specific time, see whatever you could see, hear the sounds and feel how you felt then.

Doesn't it feel good? Doesn't it feel wonderful? Isn't this the feeling we're all yearning for? Isn't it strange that you can feel this way just by remembering love from the past? What does that mean about all the time and money we spend looking for love?

Now think of a time when somebody loved you but you didn't return the affection. It doesn't feel very good, does it? How about when somebody loved you, but you never knew about it. Not knowing meant that you didn't feel their love, did you? This is strange? Isn't being loved the Holy Grail of life? How come it didn't feel good in these situations?

What can we learn from this? When you remember loving, you feel great. When you remember being loved, very often this doesn't feel the same. So maybe the joy, the energy, the aliveness lies in loving, and not being loved? Isn't that the opposite of what we've been taught?

Ok, so when somebody loved you and you wanted them to love you, it did feel great. To love and be loved at the same time, what a joy! However, the difference again is that you loved them. If you did, it felt great. If you didn't, not so great. Again, it comes down to whether or not you love. Suddenly, it's not about somebody else anymore, it's about you.

Even better, you don't have to remember love from the past, you can look around you right here and now and find things that you love. They needn't be large or important things. How about a sunny day? Or a good film? Or a loving pet? A favorite book? The list is endless. Just by tapping into something you appreciate, you can feel the love that you want anytime.

Does this mean that you shouldn't be in relationship with a partner? Not at all! What it means is that you're probably going to enjoy a much more loving connection if you come from a place of loving. Offer love first and foremost, instead of firstly looking to get love from your partner. Seek to love first, then to be loved, and you'll probably do much better.

Now return to a loving memory from the past again. Choose a different one to the last time and see if you can relax right into that feeling. Recreate your surroundings from this memory, so that you feel as if you're right back there. Enjoy it, bask in it. How wonderful that we have the power to feel love whenever we wish. The trick is to remember!

Who is it that you love?

If you think about it, the love you feel is pretty much the same no matter whom or what you're loving. It might be mixed with other emotions, such as respect, lust, confusion or excitement, but the love is the same. This means that the more you practice loving, the better at loving you become. There's no shortage: the more you love, the easier it becomes.

You might love different aspects of people, places or things, or you might love something different in each of them, but the love is the same. Make it a priority to love as many different people, places, events and things as you can. Not primarily for their sake, but for yours! The great thing about loving is that you're not dependant upon another, you can love anytime.

Please note: loving somebody doesn't mean obligation towards them. You don't have to marry everyone you love, you don't have to do anything at all. Love is its own reward. Don't imagine that loving somebody has certain expectations, because it doesn't. Just loving is enough. What you choose to do from that place of love is up to you.

Love and happiness

When you're loving, you feel happy with who or what you love. You feel accepting and at peace. Also, when you're happy, you're usually feeling loving. In many ways, love is the flip side of happiness. So if we want more love in our lives, we can work on being happier, and vice versa.

Perhaps love is happiness turned outwards? Perhaps happiness is love focused inwards? Either way, they seem to be intimately connected, so when we feel one, we feel the other. If

you find happiness easier than the love, simply changing your perspective reveals love. The Dalai Lama was once asked about the purpose of life. With a beaming smile, he replied:

"to be happy"

Maybe he knows something we've forgotten?

©2004

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