I know what you're thinking. You're expecting some "Brianna Loves Jenna" play-by-play involving pillow fights and strap-ons. Well, it's not happening. That's your version of lesbian sex, and you're way off base. Women in lesbian relationships generally report a higher level of sexual satisfaction than their heterosexual counterparts. "Well, yeah," you're thinking, "they have the equipment." Well, yes, but not in the way you're thinking. The "equipment" you deem necessary for sex is just your penis, which is quite different than what women bring to the bedroom. Kissing, touching, sucking, caressing - these are all parts of a woman's sexual experience, and you've been ignoring them.

This may come as a shock to most men, but a lot of women think men are boring in the sack. This is because men think that there is a method to sex: get her wet, get inside, and get your rocks off. There is no real explanation for how this sequence of events became the norm, but it's causing real sexual inhibitions in men.

Sex is not a job. There's no sequence of tasks that must be performed in order to achieve the end game, i.e. blowing your wad. Concentrating solely on your own orgasm takes the intimacy out of the sexual experience. You may have gotten off, but you haven't maximized the pleasure of either party. Okay, maybe you went down on her. Were you savoring each sensation? Or were you thinking, "Hurry up and cum so I can get up in there!"

When two women have sex, they are not working toward one simple goal. An orgasm does not signal the end, and they don't go in treating it as such. Every look and every touch is part of the experience. The warmth of the other's lips, the softness of her skin, and how she responds to being touched is shared between partners. It is very much about the two coming together for mutual pleasure and shared intimacy. It is also about fun, and you know what they say about girls just wanted to have fun.

Fear not, pal, there's good news for you, too. Your heterosexual female partner is responding to your lips and hands in the same way a gay woman responds to her lover. She loves the way your skin smells and the way your breath tastes. It's how you got her into bed in the first place. When she goes down on you, it's not because she just loves having a dick in her mouth, it's because she savors the pleasure it provides you. Making love in this way satisfies all your senses, not just your penis. Don't miss out on all the pleasure! You're only cheating yourself.

©2010 Michael Webb

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