Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we've all of a sudden lost our confidence. This results in being without sex for many months, until we finally get a girlfriend again, and... the cycle repeats.

So to break this cycle, we need to REMAIN the attractive guy, the alpha male.

You see, relationships can make us guys too lazy (since the sex is so easy) and we lose that "high value" mindset. It's crucial to keep that alpha male frame of mind that says, "I am like a Lamborghini."

Do Lamborghini dealerships grovel to try to get people to like them? Of course not. Instead they allow all the buyers to come to them. Hell, Lamborghini doesn't even advertise. As a man, you should have a similar confident mindset if you want to maximize the attraction your girlfriend feels for you.

So, how do you keep that alpha mindset? First and foremost, avoid chasing your girlfriend like a puppy dog. A basic concept which will prevent her from ever treating you badly is what I call Punishment and Reward.

If a woman engages in behavior which you disapprove of, punish her by withdrawing your time and focusing on something (or someone) else. If she does something you like (such as having sex with you), reward her by giving her more of your time, talking about her feelings, etc.

So whenever you do something nice for her, do it because you're rewarding her. And DO reward her good behavior, if you want more of it. Like I said, Punishment and Reward.

Then there's the issue of being a challenge. Women act sweet when you're a challenge to them. They act bitchy when they take you for granted and no longer feel like they need put out effort to win your affections.

Often by around month 6 in a relationship is when a woman really starts to take a guy for granted, so avoid that by remaining a challenge.

So the solution to remaining the attractive, alpha guy in your relationships is threefold:

1. Always be willing to focus your time on things other than your girlfriend. Don't reward her for acting bitchy by continuing to be around her when she does. On the other hand, too, reward her for good behavior by giving her more of your time when she acts sweet.

2. Always have it in the back of your mind that you could end the relationship at any time. Don't explicitly threaten her with that, but just make it a subtle implication. That way she'll never become truly comfortable with the relationship and will keep working to win you.

3. Always allow her to think that's she's just a little bit more interested in you than you are in her. Again, this can be very subtle, but if (for example) you're telling her 20 times a day that you love her, and she's only telling you that twice, then obviously the situation is badly out of whack.

©2006 John Alexander
Author, "How to Become an Alpha Male"

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