
Hooking Up vs Lasting Love: It's Your Choice
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"hooking Up" These terms have become all too familiar in today's dating world. Are they words that you can relate to? Have you lived them in some way? If so, how have you felt about the experience(s) both during and after? Chances are that you have mixed feelings at best. Depending on your age and sex, you may give a somewhat different response to this question. Whatever your answer, a close look at this "dating experience" that impacts so many singles in so many ways may be useful to you as you think about what your long-term relationship goals are and what you REALLY want from a relationship. So what exactly do these terms mean? Do you define this activity (even loosely) as dating? Has this become a new intimacy for some or many of you? If so, it's important to look at how/if it meets your needs and if it aligns with your basic values and relationship wants and goals. Begin by asking yourself some core questions, such as: Am I comfortable with intimacy? If your answers reflect discordance between how you feel and what you do; it would be helpful to understand the reasons behind your behavior. Do any of these sound familiar? In addition to these explanations, some singles express a belief that "everyone does it" or "it's expected". Therefore, they often report engaging in it, but not feeling really ok or satisfied afterwards. Others use it as a substitute for real intimacy, referencing their difficulties in meeting and dating in general. Then there are the people who have sex hoping it will lead to love. This too is a desire for intimacy that can lead to sadness and disappointment and the possibility of contacting a dangerous and life-altering infection. It reminds me of the line in a song, "if I can love you good enough on the outside to make you feel it on the inside, then maybe you will stay..." If you recognize yourself in any of these statements and want to address your issue, begin with an inventory of your values and self-awareness. If you would find feedback that deals specifically with these issues helpful, take the "What's Your Intimacy IQ" and "Are You Relationship Ready" quizzes. Once you have determined what you really want from a relationship you can begin to make clear, thought out choices that will open the path that points in the direction you wish to go. Until you do so, you face the possibility of more disappointing and short-lived encounters that leave you feeling more alone and less hopeful about the possibility for lasting happy love. is a psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and People magazines. She has been featured on ABC news, Discovery Health, AOL news, MSN, and Match. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in "The Business And Practice Of Coaching," ( Norton,September 2005); and is the author of the forward for," Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time" (Simon and Schuster, November 2005). From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers. ©2003 Show All Articles By Toni Coleman, LCSW
Back To Article IndexLick by Lick: How To Go Down On A Women And Have Her Begging For More
What do women say about your ability in bed?Yes they do talk about it. Did you know that women feel far greater pleasure from oral sex than a man does? This isn't something that you will learn in sex education. No, you don't just lick it, but if you really know how to give a woman head she will experience more powerful, intense and longer lasting orgasms than ever before. Imagine what that will do for your reputation as a lover. What do you think she will want to do for you in return. No matter how much they may enjoy it, women don't reach orgasm with regular sex every time. In fact the average is only about 25% of the time. Cunnilingus is the surefire way to bring a woman to orgasm over 80% of the time. No matter how good you are there's bound to be something in this book that you never knew. If you want more info on the book please go to The Lick By Lick WebsiteP.S. While you are at it why not get her the companion book Blow by Blow. I'm sure she's going to want to reciprocate with some great loving of her own. |
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