"The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself." - Mark Twain

Why are people so hard on themselves? Why do we beat the living crap out of ourselves about every little thing and then wonder why we're not happy? Isn't it sad when you hear about a person who has been abused by someone they love?

No one deserves to be treated poorly, disrespected, talked down to and beaten down, not even you. So why on earth do people do it to themselves? Learning to love yourself may sound cliche, but it's the single most important factor in building your confidence and self-esteem.

If you stop for a second and listen to the self-deprecating way you talk to yourself or how you continually criticize yourself, is it any wonder you feel bad about who you are? There isn't anyone on the planet that's perfect. We all have our flaws, but we also all have our strengths, our blessings and our inner beauty.

Focusing on everything you hate or dislike about yourself is like a nagging old bitty constantly beating a dead horse. Give it up! Lay off!

If you were witnessing someone being mistreated you would want to come to their rescue and tell the bully to go crawl back under the rock they came from. Well then, there are times when you are that bully inflicting mean, hurtful words upon yourself, your own self-torture.

Instead, make a list of the things that you have to be thankful for and begin to see that there are many blessing you've been given that you may have chosen to ignore.

You have qualities that are unique from others and that is where you need to focus your thoughts. There are things about you that make you special.

Every time you start to find fault, i.e. I'm too fat, too old, too short, too tall. I'm too shy, I can't make friends, No one ever likes me, I'm dumb, I can't talk in front of people, I'll never succeed etc., ask this question, why am I being so mean to myself?

What good does it do to talk to myself in such a cruel way? Would you ever talk to someone you loved that way? Then why not start to love yourself a little bit more each day?

Treat yourself, as you would someone you love. Don't allow that bully in you to keep putting you down. If you do, you are approaching your life with the wrong attitude. You are being abusive and unkind to YOU!

Instead, say, "I'm not that bad. There may be things I don't like about myself but in all in all, I'm a good person." Then start to acknowledge those qualities that you do possess, i.e. I'm funny, I'm giving, I love to laugh, I excel in this or that, I help people, I'm committed, honest, warm, I'm nice to people (other than myself, just kidding) I'm a great cook, I'm organized, etc. Begin to acknowledge the qualities that make you special.

Find the goodness in you and start to appreciate you for who you are. Relish your uniqueness. We are all on a journey to find our true authenticity. Yours will be different from others. There will be things you can change and things you will learn to accept and embrace about yourself.

However, the key is to learn to accept the whole package. You are a shining star in many ways. Become aware of what you have to offer and celebrate your gifts. There isn't another person on this planet with your qualities and uniqueness.

You can't expect others to love and respect you if you can't. By treating yourself lovingly and respectfully, you will find others who will treat you the same. It all begins from within. When you learn to accept yourself just the way you are, you will say, "I'm happy to be me!"

©2009 Susan Russo

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