Forgiveness is a Destination
by
Forgiveness is a destination and not an action. When you tell yourself to forget and forgive some wrong or hurt, you can not. You tell yourself to take the action of forgiveness, yet can not, because forgiveness is not an action. When your boss passes you over for a promotion or a raise, you can not forgive. When your landlord unfairly takes your deposit, you can not forgive. When your significant other hurts you with thoughtless actions, you can not forgive. And you can not forget effectively. Perhaps you can succeed in burying the memories of hurt or anger so that they do not badger you. But you will still be affected. The next time you deal with a boss, a landlord, a significant other, you will expect to be hurt and in that create the hurt. Yet forgive and forget you must, if you are to move forward whole. If you harbor anger and resentment, they become your god. They fill your days with endless inner arguments. Forgiveness is a destination and not an action. While you can not make yourself forgive and forget, you can take steps to get to forgiveness. These steps are seemingly simplistic, inconsequential. Yet as a set of actions they produce indisputable results. If forgiveness is your destination, here are your road markers: 1. Write a letter that you will not send. Express all emotions, all conversations you have had in your head. Write the letter over and over, each time going deeper inside to express your full emotions. 2. Take inventory of your actions. How did you contribute to the situation? What motivated you? How will you respond differently next time at each of the key junctures? 3. Visualize yourself in a conversation with the other person. Tell him/her everything and see him/her listen. Hold back nothing. 4. Create compassion by understanding. Look at the other's motivations. What made his/her actions inevitable? You do not have to approve or agree. Simply understand. 5. Wish him or her well. In the brunt of anger, especially then, wish him or her well. Even artificially done in the beginning, over time this will become genuine. Having taken these steps enough times you will arrive at forgiveness and be free to move forward restored. © Show All Articles By Rinatta PariesIf you have not visited my website, WhatItTakes.com lately, you are in for a treat. The first phase of the site face- lift is finished, and the site is now very clearly, very logically laid out. Now, you can get to the things you want even faster. Find classes at www.whatittakes.com/classesFind newsletter article archive at www.whatittakes.com/Archive. Find a list of all relationship coaching services at http://www.whatittakes.com/Coaching/coachingservices.html. And more. Visit WhatItTakes.com and enjoy!
Back To Article IndexWhy Men Leave
"Why Men Leave" is a revealing, intimate ebook program which is the result of years of psychological study and field research with a singular point -- to understand male psychology with regards to relationships, and derive from men themselves the fears they face, and hopes they have in a relationship. The result? Important discoveries - both startling, enlightening and scientifically grounded - as to why men decided to end their relationships, and what could have made it easier for them stay and find a meaningful resolution. Drawing on hundreds of interviews with the men, and extensive expert research, along with insights from today's top psychologists, "Why Men Leave" gives, for the first time, a full picture of what men need to be happy, find to be challenging, or finally unbearable in their relationships. And because it is from the man's perspective, new and unique insights and solutions are proven to become apparent for both woman and for men. Within this program, newly discovered facts, extensive research results, and expert "user friendly" step by step guidance empowers a person to discover new self awareness as to what has been really going wrong in their relationship. Armed with this new information and techniques, it becomes easier for a person to heal a troubled relationship, or to move on and establish a new way of life filled with joyous relationships. For those currently not engaged in a relationship, but have found themselves in repeated patterns of distressing relationships, it becomes possible to find out why these patterns have taken place in the past, and to establish new and healthy patterns for the future. "Why Men Leave" is an accumulation of extensive study and professional psychological expertise. In it, men reveal their most intimate secrets and feeling about relationships - ideas men commonly find too difficult to discuss. Ultimately, this information has lead to exceptionally rare revelations about male psychology and emotions, and provides a one-of-a-kind, step by step program for men and woman to mend painful wounds, and achieve joyous and deeply gratifying relationships. |
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