Finding love sounds very easy. But finding the right persons worth loving is quite difficult. Some people would even resort to looking for it across the seas or even online in search of that special someone whom they believe knows what loving and caring is all about. But has anyone ever considered if we care for the person for who he truly is, or are we just infatuated with the person who is trying to make us believe that they're exactly what we're looking for. Is the thought of love clouding our emotions and judgment of other people? When we show signs of interest in a man, we tend to try and discover what he really wants in a woman to be his girlfriend.

For a man, we try asking her what she really expects in a man for him to become the boyfriend material. We do this so that we could live up to their expectations just to simply show that you're exactly the kind of person they've been searching for all their lives. Sad to say, this isn't exactly the way of finding love. How about the people were trying to win over? What's their reason why they make up these standards in finding love? These people set standards because they've been hurt before and the bases of these requirements are the attitudes and behaviors from disappointments of their previous relationships.

They believed that this is the only way in order for them to know how to find true love. But are we really looking for the right answers? Personally, I think it's best to be yourself. For when a person has great fondness to another, they tend to show all their good qualities just to win their intendeds affections. The secrets of finding love is not about seeing everything that's good about the person rather it's about discovering every flaw, weaknesses and shortcomings and be able to accept them for that. An assistant to a philosopher once saw his master staring at a rose and told him "It's a pity, sir, that all roses have thorns".

The philosopher then replied "Indeed, but let's rather thank God that all thorns, have roses". The point in the story is that every human emotion can either bring us together or break us apart. Like the human emotion of love, how do we show it? Are we possessive? Or are we slack? Now, this totally depends on how we were brought up. But can we really balance every aspect of our human character? We always have implanted this idea that we can change the people we care for, often realizing that we end up changing ourselves. And not understanding that we grow at our own pace.

Change comes from within one's self. Those we can't change, we learn to compromise. And that is how to find true love. Seeing the worst side in them and still manage to love them for being human as they are. And who knows, one might manage to change this person into a better version of himself.

©2009 Ruth Purple

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