Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
by
IT WORKED OUT FOR BRANGELINA, DIDN'T IT?
Hey Doc,
I've learned a lot from reading your articles. I hope that you can help me
with a major dilemma I'm caught in.
Up until now I haven't had many problems in the love department. I have a
girlfriend of four years who I'll call Venus. We have a great relationship and
have hopes for a great future. But recently a new girl, Shakira, has shown
up in my life and confused everything.
Shakira started working with me at my job. We talked, and then I made a
small move on her. To make a long story short, I played my cards right by
not calling her immediately, which drove her Interest Level higher. She
even asked me why I didn't call her right away and I responded that I was
busy.
Now Doc, this girl is a beauty and all the guys at work love her and are after
her. I try not to show it as much as they do, which has worked because she
has told me that she likes me.
On our first night out, we kissed. The problem is that she has a boyfriend of
five years and here she's messing around with me. And of course I have
Venus, but I'm really falling in love with Shakira. I don't know what to do. I
don't want Shakira's Interest Level to go down because I'm still young, 23,
and want to take advantage of life. I think Shakira feels the same about me.
I didn't really want to fall for Shakira, but I'm weak. Do you think I should
tell her to break up with her boyfriend now? If she does, then I'll have to let
Venus go. Do double breakups ever work out? Please tell me what I should
do.
Shawn - who's losing sleep over the two of them
Hi Shawn,
You said you haven't had many problems in the love game. Dude, if you're
memorizing my material you shouldn't have ANY problems with love, ever!
Shakira hasn't confused everything in your life, pal. She just confused
YOU. And here you have a good girl for four good years and you're ready
to just throw her aside for somebody else who's a complete stranger.
What's wrong with you? What are you thinking? Are you thinking at all?
But you did one thing right, Shawn. Telling Shakira that you were busy
when she wanted you to fall all over her was perfect. Any time a girl asks
you why you haven't done something, just remember to say those two
magic words: "I'm busy." Beautiful, Shawn - well, so far, anyway.
We don't care what the other guys in your office are after, man. All we're
concerned about is who Shakira likes. That said, isn't it wonderful that the
girl you're in love with is messing around with you when she has a long-
term boyfriend? Like my cousin Sal "The Fish" Love says, "This is like
double adultery." And can you imagine all the other guys Shakira is
dating?
You're not falling in love with Shakira, pal. Like the great Doctor Freud
once said, "All you're falling in love with is newness and novelty."
Sure, you're young and want to take advantage of life, my friend. We all do.
But you got a problem here - such as that Shakira has a boyfriend of five
years. Until that boyfriend is out of the picture and gone, this girl is not
available. And until your girlfriend is gone, you're not available. So what we
have here is a pair of unavailable people betraying the partners they're
supposed to be loyal to. Like my cousin General Love says, "Gee, I'd hate
to be next to either one of you in a foxhole!"
And wait just a minute here. What do you mean you think Shakira feels the
same about you as you feel about her? Shawn, you have no clue what's
going on between this babe's ears. You're just at the same job as she is
and you've had a couple of measly dates. In other words, you know nothing
whatsoever about this girl.
But you claim that you're weak. You're not weak, Shawn. Like my cousin
Rabbi Love says, "You just love beauty, my son, that's all."
Do I think you should tell Shakira to break up with her boyfriend? No, you
shouldn't mention the boyfriend at all. But if she says yes when you ask
her to dump her man, you'd better be ready for the consequences - all of
the consequences, and you can bet they're going to happen. If Shakira
agrees to getting rid of her boyfriend, you'll have to let Venus go. Then
Shakira will go back to her boyfriend when she gets bored with you, and
you'll go back to your girlfriend. Shakira's boyfriend will take her back
because she looks like Gisele Bundchen's younger sister, but your
girlfriend isn't going to take you back because you're nothing at all like
Tom Brady. So now you've gone from one girl to none when you were
trying to go from one girlfriend to two. Think about it, Shawn.
Do double breakups ever work out? It might have worked for Brad and
Angelina, but numerically, the odds are horribly against it.
What should you do about this whole thing? First of all, stop flirting with
Shakira. Then go home and make a list of all the great things you have with
Venus and start thinking about the idea of LOYALTY. If you can't be loyal,
guy, then get rid of your girl. You should be getting rid of your girl because
you don't like her anymore or you're completely bored with her, not
because you found somebody who appears to be better. And you can't
even compare them because your girlfriend has four years in with you and
this new girl only has a couple of hours in. Duh.
So now you're ready to make a long-term decision about two women while
you're in a highly emotional state. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, "Boy,
you ain't thinkin' straight -- that's what this new girl done to you!"
Remember, guys: loyalty is numero uno.
©2005
Guys, e-mail with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The System visit me at:
Doclove DotCom or (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
Copyright Doclove DotCom
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