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Love Notes
by Larry James

Direct Answers
by Wayne & Tamara Mitchell

Dr. Dennis W.Neder
by Dr. Dennis W.Neder

Ask The Coach
by Toni Coleman



Direct Answers

by

The Way Back

Some years ago I dated a woman from a different country who learned she was pregnant by another man. I stuck with her and raised the child as my son. When the boy was six, this woman decided she didn't want to be with me anymore and left for home, on the other side of the world.

I tried keeping in contact with the boy and visited, though it costs quite a bit. I also pay maintenance and try to "do the right thing" by my son. The problem is I often feel I've been mugged and taken for a ride. My friends and family certainly think so!

This leaves me feeling very, very angry. Compounding my anger is the fact that, while she has facilitated my visits to see my son, she shows no remorse or truly apologized for what she did to me and to him. Give me advice on how to get over this, get past the anger, and make a life for myself again.

Stephen

Stephen, psychologist Fritz Strack is famous for noticing an odd fact. People find cartoons funnier when they are holding a pen between their teeth than when they are holding a pen using only their lips. There's a simple explanation. The first method forces us to use our smiling muscles, while the second makes smiling impossible.

In the same way, you are clinging to ideas which make it impossible to be happy with your life. It's as if you are paralyzed, standing on a road with three forks and you cannot decide which fork to take.

The first fork is duty. It says you have an obligation to be a father to the boy. The second fork is fear. It says you cannot be the kind of man who deserts a child. And the third fork? It leads directly back to this woman.

As a good-natured person, if you harmed another, you would do one of two things. You would repeatedly say you are sorry, or you would avoid the other person altogether. But self-centered people don't think that way. They think in terms of advantage to themselves.

When good people stay connected to selfish people, they turn their feelings inward and feel bad about themselves.

You did not take a father away from the boy; she did. And she did it twice, once with a birth father and once with a boyfriend father. You ask why you can't get over your anger, but your real question is, why isn't she sorry.

You wonder where her sorry is, but she doesn't have a sorry. And she never will.

There are two problems human beings have in seeing reality. The first is viewing the world in terms of their own needs, and the second is thinking other people think as they do.

You have been paying maintenance for a son who isn't yours to a wife you didn't have. The boy is being raised around her and her family. He is not going to point a finger at them; he is going to turn out like them. You are not the father figure in his life. You are more like a great uncle who shows up every now and then.

What you don't realize is there is a fourth path. It is the one which lies directly behind you. It leads back to the beginning.

You were with a woman pregnant by another man. You did not have a faithful, caring woman in your life. She stands in the stead of the real life you should have had, and you still haven't broken up with her.

Breaking ties is not taking your anger out on the boy. It is making sure this woman doesn't collect dividends on a stock she doesn't own.

Remember what Fritz Strack discovered. Some things in life make it simply impossible to smile.

Wayne & Tamara



©2005

Wayne & Tamara Mitchell are the authors of YOUR OTHER HALF.

Visit their website at
Your Other Half

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801-0964
or
e-mail:


Women Made Easy

Women Made Easy Book Cover

For the man who wants more than to just get laid...

Women Made Easy will teach you how to be any woman's prince, the man she brags about to her girlfriends, the man who knows how to make a woman happy.

Here's advice you won't find just anywhere. Most dating and relationship advice written for men is only aimed at the short-term laison. That's fine but if you're looking for more then Women Made Easy is just what you've been searching for.

Not Just Another "How To Get Laid" Book.

This Book Is Written By a Woman Who Knows What Women Want

Become a more sensitive, pleasing lover so that she will want to make love a whole lot more often, and with much more enthusiasm and abandon. You have the power to move your lovemaking to the next level of intimacy and knock-her-socks-off passion.

  • If you're a man who's discovered that sex is better when there's love...

  • If you're a man who enjoys making his woman happy...

  • If you're a man who wants to be a better lover and take his woman to the stars...

  • If you're a man who doesn't think a great lady could fall in love with a guy like you...

  • If you're a man who has a woman who never seems to be happy with you...

Then you need to read Women Made Easy

Now it's time to write that book because too many men have requested that I help them understand women so they can have a better chance of creating a happy, harmonious relationship that can also be filled with love and passion. So, for you men who are looking for more than just to get laid, I offer Women Made Easy. You'll be happy to know that there is a companion eBook called How To Please a Man In & Out of Bed for your lady to read.

Kara Oh



The Dating Delimma

It's not easy meeting quality women and the older you get, the more difficult it is. This chapter will, hopefully, give you some new ideas about where you can meet women and what to do when you do meet someone you'd like to get to know better. It also will give you some food for thought about what to look for in a woman and what to watch out for. When you're young and your hormones are running the show, you're not thinking the same way as when you've been married, had your children, and are looking for a new partner. Nothing like maturity to give you wisdom.

If you're looking for more then Women Made Easy is just what you've been searching for.


Get 5 Free Ebooks with my Newsletter

101 Romantic Ideas Book Cover


Plus 4 more books

2: The Message Of A Master
3: The Best Places To Meet Women
4: Where Do Princes Come From
5: The Triggers

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