You finally got the nerve to ask out that hottie from Shaddi.com. So why did you just return home from the date from hell? The conversation focused on politics, what pissed your coworker off at work that day, and how your last date experience was terrible. The thing is YOU were the one who made all those horrible conversation mistakes. Now that you are home, alone, you have plenty of time to relive the awful truth.

Guys, we do not tend to think of ourselves as the "talks too much" gender so why does this happen? You either just got nervous or you do not know the basics of first date conversations.

Let's face it, sometimes we get in over our heads and forget that the first few dates are the get to know you period. This is the time to make a good impression, period.

Of course you want to find out if the girl you are with is your type and she wants to know the same. Dominating the conversation is not going to get you there.

Boring her to death with the minute by minute details of your incredibly boring or horrible day at work is not a good idea. Take the time to bone up on a few conversations basics before your next first date.

Navigating Conversation Killers

Acknowledge how nice it is to finally get together.

Compliment her in some small way not having to do with her looks; nice jewelry or her pretty teeth or maybe even her choice of restaurants if she chose the place.

Your job is ok to talk about but keep it simple and positive; "I enjoy ___ about my work and I'm interested in learning more about ___". Your last big relationship is a trick question. Keep it simple and move on; "I was in a relationship for awhile ___ months ago, since then I've spent time on some new hobbies like ___"

If you tend to date women from a specific culture and you are on a date with a woman whose background is different than yours, do not bring up your affinity for East Indian dating or being especially attracted to Asian women. You want the woman on this date to feel special because of who she is.

Money questions are to be avoided. You will both find out soon enough about each other's financial situation. Avoid discussing money except in the most general terms like; "I feel it is important to be financially responsible and I suppose my parents did a good job teaching me this".

Family, as in your immediate kind, should be related in respectful ways, never complain about your family on a first date.

Families, as in your plans for a future family of your own, really have no place being discussed over the course of the first few dates. Even if you are dating Indian women, which culturally promotes family, or within a certain religion such as Catholocism, which does as well, this topic can wait for a few dates.

The bottom line guys, is that it is often what you do on a first date that speaks volumes compared to what you say. If you show her you are a gentleman and listen to her you will gain points.

If you constantly talk and fail to be a gentleman you lose points. So open the door for your date and pull out her chair for her but do not grill her on her choice of career or long term goals. Keep in mind that you are just getting to know each other and you want to have two or three more dates to find out if this girl is even someone you would want to continue to date. By keeping your part of the conversation positive and encouraging her to tell you about herself, you have the best chance of finding out what she is really all about. If you are thinking that you have to pretend to be someone you are not, you have gotten it all wrong. First dates are supposed to be fun and it is not fun when someone bores you to tears with a detailed description of why they hate their ex. It is ok to be yourself but be general and upbeat about the things you share with your date. You will find out more about her this way and you will have made a good impression.

©2010 Indian Dating Today

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