Dealing With A Man Who Is Cold And Distanced:
What To Do If Your Man Is Shutting Down For No Reasons
by
A couple, as man and woman, will share feelings and each
other constantly during a relationship. Often times a man
can become self centered, distant and uninterested in what
you do or how you are. The man who is distant can make a
woman feel uneasy about herself, un-needed, unwanted and
often times self conscience as you second guess what you are
doing all the time.
So why is your man shutting down emotionally and pushing you
further from the relationship than you are comfortable with?
You will notice the difference right away, as he doesn't
hold your hand, as he isn't calling you often, and even
moments where he is not looking at you but past you while
you are out on the town. The man needs to feel as if he is
the center of attention. This doesn't mean you have to
become his love slave, or be at his beck and call, but you
have to learn to make the man feel as if he is the center of
your universe using your actions and reactions to the
relationship.
The main reason men shut women out and become distant is
because they are afraid
Yes, the reason may surprise you but it is a well known fact
that men who are afraid of becoming too dependent, too needy
will push a woman back and put some distance between the two
of you. A man can feel as if he loves you, but at the same
time, is afraid of the commitment, afraid of becoming needed
and wanted, where you will expect more of the relationship.
The man who is afraid of a relationship is going to put some
amount of emotional distance in the relationship, and this
will be the distance you feel.
Another reason men put distance in the relationship is
because they feel overwhelmed by need.
What many women are surprised about, and no man is going to
admit, is they will become distant in a relationship because
they feel too needed, and you or the family is too
demanding. A man must feel a little freedom in his life,
where he feels important and able to be himself with out
always doing something for you or because of you. While it
is hard to change, you can cut the distance in your
relationship by helping your man feel a little more freedom
and at ease in his life.
The cure is easy for the distance in a relationship such as
this; allow his to enjoy his life. As a man enjoys his life,
he will find he also needs you there to share in his joys,
and accomplishments. The added freedom could be that he
loves watching football, or loves being at the baseball
field, or that he loves coaching youth teams. Giving him the
time to enjoy his own past times and hobbies is going to
give him the freedom in his life that every man needs. He
will ultimately feel good about himself, and where he is in
life, and in turn will want to share more with you, and be
closer to you because of it.
Think about the many things you do, say and how you 'are'
that may lead to your man being distant emotionally. Are you
putting too much pressure on the relationship as you say you
'love him' all the time, or that you 'need him' all the
time. You, as the woman, need to back off on the telling him
all the emotions in your life, and focus only on showing him
how much you love him. Showing a person, a man, how much you
love him is going to be much more valuable in the
relationship than actually saying it aloud all the time.
For example, if he is leaving a business trip for a few
days, show him you love him by putting something in his
suitcase that will remind him of you while he is away. Just
a little note, with a heart, and no words, no written
message, just the hidden message of your love he will find
at a later date. Calling your man and telling him you love
him every five hours while he is away is going to put
pressure on the relationship he may not need, want, or have
the time to tend to while he is away on business.
So, how do you keep the relationship alive?
Keeping the relationship alive is going to be much easier
than you might have thought before. As a woman, you are
constantly working and tending to the needs of your
relationship. To keep the relationship alive you want to
show the man how you feel instead of saying it aloud all the
time. Make him coffee in the morning, or make his lunch
before he leaves every day, your actions speak louder than
words in many cases.
Keep the relationship alive by taking the time to make his
favorite meal, or do your hair in the way he loves most.
Keep the relationship alive by putting on sexy perfume even
when you are sitting around the house. A man needs to feel
you love him, but without having to hear it all the time.
©2006
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