You Can Sit A Little Closer (If You're Nice)

Allen Schiffenbauer and R. Steven Schiavo did an interesting little experiment. They had a confederate (i.e. an ally of the experimenter who pretends to be a subject) sit either close to the subjects (2 feet), or far from the subjects (5 feet). In addition, the confederate behaved in either a likeable, neutral, or unlikable fashion toward the subjects.

What they found was when the confederate behaved in a LIKEABLE fashion, the subjects tended to LIKE the confederate MORE when the confederate sat CLOSER to the subjects than when the confederate sat farther away. Also, when the confederate behaved in an UNLIKABLE fashion, the subjects tended to DISLIKE the confederate MORE when the confederate sat CLOSER to the subjects than when the confederate sat farther away. Neutral behavior wasn't really affected.

So the moral of the story is...

If you're nice, and you feel you're making a pretty good impression on a woman, then it would be to your benefit to decrease the distance between the two of you... slightly. Sit a little closer. Stand a little closer. (A LITTLE closer. Don't lay all over her.) Or use body language techniques to decrease the "psychological" distance between the two of you (such as direct eye contact, open relaxed posture, leaning the body or head towards her, etc.).

On the other hand, if you feel you're not making as great an impression as you'd like, then it might be best to keep your distance... minimize the damage somewhat until you're more on top of your game. (Of course, this particular strategy wouldn't apply to any of you.)

What we're talking about here is simply one of the many ways available that you can subtly boost physiological arousal in women... and thus boost their emotional responses toward you. Sitting or standing closer to her will boost her arousal. In addition, you become the object of her attention... simply because it's hard to ignore someone who's close to you.

But remember, the key is to make sure that she likes you first. Then you can focus your attention on boosting that emotion.

(See From Like to Love for more on boosting arousal and turning friends into lovers.)

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