You've heard it many times before: "He was nice enough, but there just wasn't any chemistry." That's the key to dating these days: Chemistry. Nothing seems to baffle singles more. When you look at its different aspects, though, chemistry's not such a mystery after all.

It starts with the attraction you feel in the first seven minutes of meeting. Then real, full-blown chemistry flows into a combination of different areas that bind two souls together.

There are basically four areas of chemistry between dating partners: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Physical chemistry generates desire. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soul mate includes all four."

Chemistry is more than a physical attraction, "It's an attitude, a passion for life. It's a whole combination of intelligence, sexuality and an emotional connection to the other person."

What's important is to understand and appreciate all 4 of them, as many times we meet someone and it's just a physical chemistry. It's an extraordinary sensation and most times confusing, because you feel those butterflies and think that perhaps this is love at first sight, what it is is lust at first sight! So many confuse this and build relationships on it and in the end when it's only based on the physical aspect, it can leave you with a void, an emptiness if that's the case, then you know it's time to move on.

Mental, spiritual and/or emotional chemistry can occur and you become the best of friends.

To get a little technical, in organic chemistry, opposites may attract. But in romantic chemistry, likes attract. It's that law of similar attraction that helps work the magic. When two people meet, it is their similarities in the four areas of chemistry (physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual) that will increase the chance of a "chemical click" that you can build upon.

There is always a part of us that craves the familiar. I think chemistry has to do with a need to connect with people similar to us. When we click with someone, we seem to speak the same language. Our personalities mesh. We share the same values and philosophy. We feel the same spiritual connection.

It's important to be able to recognize which "chemistry" we're feeling.

Lustful chemistry burns us with a passion, a flame so intense that it leaves us breathless and hot. While when the other elements are there, the flame turns into burning embers that give off a warmth, and understanding and compassion that can lead to us down a road filled with mutual love and appreciation of each other's individuality.

So don't try to think about it all too hard. Keep the laws of attraction in mind. Enjoy the journey, learn from those you meet, as it will help you unravel the mysteries of romantic chemistry for yourself! And when you find that person, the magic begins!

©2008

Back To Article Index