Every day I'm emailed tons of tips and articles. Every day I read the 200+ new posts in the Don Juan Discussion Forum. Every day I surf the net looking for the latest, greatest relationship info. Every day I read books and magazines about dating, relationships, and women.

I see it all. The basic. The advanced. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Man, do I see a lot of the ugly!

Undoubtedly, the most common tip I see, whether it's in an article written by some famous relationship guru, or a post to a discussion group by some 15-year old freshman... is JUST BE YOURSELF.

If sheer volume were any indication of quality, then this tip would surely be in the Hall of Fame.

Unfortunately, volume is no indication of quality when it comes to relationship advice. In fact, much of the time it's just the opposite. "Just Be Yourself" is the one tip I'll never use. Not at the web site. Not in the newsletter. Not anywhere.

Just be yourself (abbreviated JBY from now on) is a dangerous or, at the very least, counter-productive tip for a number of reasons.

One - JBY is the advice you're most likely to receive from someone who has no clue about how women, dating, and relationships work.

It doesn't matter if that person is male or female, young or old, single or married -- it's the stock relationship answer when one doesn't know or can't think of anything else to say... but doesn't want to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.

Ask your buddy what women want, or your mother, or your minister, or Dr. Expert. They'll probably hit you with some version of JBY. Why? Not because it's the correct answer, but because they themselves have no idea what women want.

But they have to say something, right? And besides, they've been hearing JBY for their entire lives. It must be the right answer. How could something be so prevalent, and be wrong?

As a side benefit, JBY is also an answer which allows the advice-giver to feel a sense of smugness or superiority... as if simply seeking relationship advice in the first place is somehow indicative of lower intelligence or underdeveloped social skills. And oh how people like to feel smug.

But what happens if you press them a little, ask for more details? Tell them that you've been "just being yourself" your entire life and it's pretty much gotten you nowhere at all with women. In fact, you haven't even had a date in 2 years.

What about that?

At this point they'll probably shovel you the stock follow-up answer - "You just have to be patient and eventually you'll meet someone who's right for you."

Oh, and don't forget, "And if it doesn't work out between you and her, than it wasn't meant to be."

Be yourself. Patience. Faith. That's about the extent of the advice you're likely to receive.

I consider this to be utterly Ridiculous !!

What kind of advice or help is this to a person who's been struggling with women his whole life? A person who goes on one date every 6 months... and never gets a second date? A person who's lonely, depressed, unhappy? A person who's obviously doing something wrong but has no idea what it might be?

Rather than simply JBYing, and waiting patiently, and having faith, perhaps it would be more beneficial if the troubled person would decide to Take Charge and actively create the kind of life he wants. To learn the mistakes he's been making in the past and how to correct this in the future. To learn the correct attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts which will enable him to attract and keep the woman or women he wants.

This would be useful advice!

But then we'd run into another problem.

You see, the second major reason that JBY is so common and a potentially damaging piece of advice is that it gives the person in need an EXCUSE for not doing anything. A convenient excuse, validated by others (after all he asked), for continuing to do what he's always done. A convenient excuse to do only what he wants to do, or what feels comfortable for him.

A convenient excuse to sit on the couch every evening drinking beer and watching TV... because, after all, he's the kind of guy who likes to sit on the couch, drink beer, and watch TV.

You see being a Don Juan is not about being yourself. And it's certainly not about pretending to be someone that you're not. It's about becoming the person that you want to be. It's about self-improvement and reaching your full potential. It's about feeling good, being happy, and learning new things.

Time and time again I've gotten emails from people telling me how the information at SoSuave.com has changed their lives for the better. How they now understand "the game" better, and how their social lives have dramatically improved as a result.

Yet, get this, when they tell their friends about the site, about all the cool information there, and how it changed their lives... their friends are not the least bit interested.

Or their friends may even think the whole idea of "learning" how to act around women is ridiculous and try to make them feel bad for even suggesting such a thing.

The friends will then preach JBY to the person, and try to convince the person that he doesn't need "tricks and gimmicks" to do well with women.

These oh-so-wise friends are the same ones who cower in a corner when out at a bar. The same friends who spend most of their time surfing the net or playing computer games. The same friends who insist that you should buy flowers, write love notes, be "friends" first, take her to the most expensive restaurant in town, tell her you love her (on the first date), etc.

In other words, these friends don't have a clue, yet have the audacity to preach JBY to those who are trying to improve themselves and understand what really works.

Talk to them about challenge, body language, confusion, desperation, confidence, conversational strategies, or any of the other Basic Stuff at the site, and watch as their eyes glaze over like a deer caught in headlights.

Are you actually going to take advice from these people?

Why are they like this? Why can't they see that JBYing is not working for them? Why can't they understand that simply learning and implementing a few simple "tactics" could dramatically improve their lives?

Because they're lazy !!

Becoming a Don Juan is about self-improvement. And self-improvement often times involves work. Take a look at all the info at SoSuave.com. It would take WEEKS just to read it all. Then you have to commit it to memory. Then implement and practice. This takes time and effort.

Make no mistake about it... you're not going to go from a Non Juan to a Don Juan over night.

Do you think that Michael Jordan became the greatest basketball player in history by JBYing? When he failed to make the varsity team in High School, do you think he went home and said, "Oh well. I guess I'm just not much of a basketball player. But I'm sure there must be something else I can do."?

I don't think so. He grabbed the freakin ball, and practiced, and practiced, and practiced.

What about women? Do you think that they subscribe to the JBY model of dating? You tell me.

They spend hours working on their hair, their makeup, their skin, and everything else imaginable before going out. They spend untold fortunes on clothes, shoes, accessories, diet pills, and anything else they can find to make themselves more attractive.

And have you ever read Cosmo, Glamour, or any of the other women's magazines on the stand? Just look at the covers.

• 20 Ways to Make Him Fall in Love with You... Instantly
• Is Your Man a Cheater? Take Our Test and Find Out
• Bedroom Tactics to Rock His World

You see women have been studying "us" since they were old enough to read. When we're out burning ants, playing ball, or watching cartoons, they're pouring over the latest edition of Seventeen and discovering "New Kissing Techniques that Will Leave Him Drooling."

They're having slumber parties, giggling, and professing the merits of playing hard to get, not returning phone calls, flirting strategies, not looking desperate, body language, or whatever. They're learning the "game" and how to play it... and very very well.

We're busy JBYing... and they're researching, studying, and practicing. Is it any wonder that in most relationships the woman is in complete control? Is it any wonder that most guys, when they do occasionally get a date, make complete fools of themselves?

Is it any wonder that YOU'RE having so much trouble with women?

I think not. In fact, I think being an "idiot" is the norm for men. I think most guys are completely clueless.

And that's why those of you smart enough to seek out this site are destined for greatness.

Those of you who visit the site regularly, those of you who study and practice, those of you who've dedicated yourselves to learning and improving, should be commended. You are in the minority. And if you keep at it, you will reap the rewards.

And, oh man, how sweet the rewards !!!

©2004

Show All Articles By Allen Thompson

Back To Article Index

Home
Articles
Columns
Products
Poems
Links
Find A Date
Newsletter

Match Making Sites

Discover What A Woman Author Who Has Articles Published In Maxim, FHM, and Stuff Magazines... Can Teach You About Making Women Want To Flock To You In Herds!

The reason why you haven't gotten anywhere reading these other dating guides is because you are listening to men who don't have a clue as to what they are talking about.

The truth is that most men who are successful with women don't know what they are doing that makes them that way.

All they know is that they have been doing it for a long time, and whatever they are doing is certainly working. Women on the other hand know exactly what is that men do that makes us weak at the knees.

What Would You Give To Get Inside A Modern Woman's Head To See What She Really Wants From A Man?

Imagine how great that would be? You would know exactly what tips and techniques you could use to date the woman of your dreams. You would have the power to eliminate all of your competition and attract the woman of your dreams.

Jennifer Graf is a woman and she knows exactly what it is that women want from men. She knows exactly what you can do to make them fall in love with you. She knows exactly what you can do to make us want to sleep with you.

She will teach you...

• 10 cheap dates that you can do to make sure your woman has a great time, all while saving you some extra cash in the end.
  
  
• The 10 best places to find women and what you can say to get the conversation started.
  
  
• The best pick-up line in the world. In fact, I guarantee you that you have already said this simple word today. Yet, you have no idea this is the best thing to use when starting a conversation with a woman.
  
  
• 5-dates that you can do that will keep you away from the dinner and a movie sydrome that 99% of guys suffer from.
  
  
• The 5-best places you can touch a woman. See where most guys fail with touching and what you can do to succeed.
  
  
• Learn 10-techniques that you can use when giving her oral sex. Trust me, if you don't ever want her to leave you than learn these techniques.
  
  
• Learn the categories that women place men in. These range from Mr. Nice Guy to Mr. Don Juan. Find out which one you need to be to attract the most women.
  
  
• Why it's better that you understand women instead of trying to figure out what they always want. This will save you a lot of headache in the long-run.
  
  
• Learn why your attitude my very well be the most important thing you have. Inside she will show you what you need to change to make women drool over you.
  
  
• Learn a unique exercise I developed that will help give you the confidence with women you have always dreamed of.
  
  
• Have you ever wondered what today's modern woman expects when you take her on a date? Inside she will show you the exact rules you need to follow to sweep her off of her feet.
  
  
• She'll even teach what you can do to get women to have a threesome with you. It can't get any better than that!

Would You Take Advice From An Overweight Person On How To Lose Weight?

Then Why Would You Listen To A Man That Doesn't Know What Women Want, Feel, Or Need In Their Lives?

You'll Finally Have The Power To Get A Woman To Obsess About How Great You Are And Want To Spend Her Every Waking Moment With Her.

With Explosive Dating you'll be amazed that within a week's time, you'll do a 100% turnaround and you won't even remember the horrible mistakes you used to make with women!

You'll see yourself walking confidently into any situation, and know exactly what to do when a certain scenario comes up. You will no longer have to worry about not having control with a woman, because they'll trust everything you do or say.

Imagine...Your days of having sweaty palms when you meet that "special someone" will be over. You'll no longer be at a loss of words when it comes time to ask her out.

So get Explosive Dating in your hands today and make it a goal to improve your dating skills within in a week. You'll now be the guy that every other man will envy...all because you know how to confidently succeed with women.

This Time Next Month You Can Be A Changed Man

Get Your Copy Here

I am a
man woman

Seeking a
man woman

Looking for
Love
Friends
Intimate Encounters

Between the ages of
  and  

State/Province
Any Alberta British Columbia Manitoba New Brunswick Newfoundland Northwest Territories Nova Scotia Nunavut Ontario Prince Edward Island Quebec Saskatchewan Yukon Territory --------- Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Guam Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Puerto Rico Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas The Virgin Islands Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming --------- Austrlian Capital Terr New South Wales Northern Territory Queensland South Australia Tasmania Victoria Western Australia

Country
United States Afghanistan Albania Algeria Andorra Angola Antigua and Barbuda Argentina Armenia Aruba Australia Austria Azerbaijan Bahamas Bahrain Bangladesh Barbados Belarus Belgium Belize Benin Bermuda Bhutan Bolivia Bosnia Botswana Brazil Brunei Bulgaria Burkina Faso Burma Burundi Cambodia Cameroon Canada Cape Verde Cayman Islands Central Afr. Rep. Chad Chile China Colombia Comoros Congo Costa Rica Croatia Cuba Cyprus Czech Republic Denmark Djibouti Dominica Dom. Republic Ecuador Egypt El Salvador Equatorial Guinea Eritrea Estonia Ethiopia Fiji Finland France Gabon Gambia Germany Ghana Gibraltar Greece Grenada Guadeloupe Guatemala Guinea Guinea-Bissau Guyana Haiti Honduras Hong Kong Hungary Iceland India Indonesia Iran Iraq Ireland Israel Italy Ivory Coast Jamaica Japan Jersey Jordan Kazakhstan Kenya Kuwait Laos Latvia Lebanon Liberia Libya Liechtenstein Lithuania Luxembourg Macau Macedonia Madagascar Malawi Malaysia Maldives Mali Malta Mauritania Mauritius Mexico Moldova Monaco Mongolia Morocco Mozambique Namibia Nepal Netherlands Netherlands Antilles New Zealand Nicaragua Niger Nigeria North Korea Norway Oman Pakistan Panama Paraguay Peru Philippines Poland Portugal Qatar Romania Russia Rwanda San Marino Saudi Arabia Senegal Sierra Leone Singapore Slovakia Slovenia Somalia South Africa South Korea Spain Sri Lanka Sudan Suriname Sweden Switzerland Syria Taiwan Tajikistan Tanzania Thailand The Virgin Islands Tobago Togo Trinidad Tunisia Turkey Turkmenistan Uganda Ukraine U.A.E. United Kingdom United States Uruguay Uzbekistan Venezuela Vietnam Yemen Yugoslavia Zambia Zimbabwe