While most everyone has felt socially awkward from time to time there are those men and women who suffer from overwhelming shyness. For these people, the thought of having to make small talk on a date is almost too much to bear.

The shy person exhibits actual physical symptoms when placed in social situations. They will often isolate themselves from others to avoid possible embarrassment.

If you are this person, there is hope. You can overcome your shyness and learn to enjoy dating again.

Signs of Social Anxiety

• Unable to approach a stranger and start a conversation
• Feeling like you are "in the spot light" and that everyone is noticing how inadequate you are
• Sweaty hands and rapid heart beat when placed in social situations
• Unreasonable fear of feeling foolish if you join a group
• Failing to speak up at work, even if you have a good idea, for fear of others opinion of you
• Isolation. You choose to stay away from others to the point that you will not voluntarily leave home

While these are but a few of the manifestations of social anxiety, the real problem lies in your perception of yourself. Being shy to the point that you believe others have judged you before you have even opened your mouth is unhealthy.

It is fairly common for those of us from different cultures to be intimidated by dating outside our ethnic group. If you are seeking to date an East Indian because their culture is strong on family values you may find yourself intimidated because you lack knowledge of their culture.

In this case, it is a good idea to learn about this cultures history by checking out an online Indian Dating Personals website. This will help lessen the anxiety you will feel when on a date with an Indian woman.

There are ways to begin to overcome your extreme shyness. First, and possibly most important, is knowing that you have chosen to be shy.

You may think that this statement is crazy but you really have chosen to remain where you are and you can choose to change. It does not mean that tomorrow you will be the life of the party.

To overcome your shyness you will have to do some homework. Don't worry; you can do most of the work in the security of your home.

Exercises to Overcome Shyness

• Be honest with yourself about why you are so shy.
• Identify five ways in which you would like to change so that you can enjoy life
• Think about what you will need to do to change
• Make a promise to yourself that you will no longer indulge yourself by thinking negative thoughts like; "I have nothing interesting to say", or "I will only make a fool of myself if I go to the party".
• Affirm yourself daily. Make a point of telling yourself your good qualities and the good things about yourself that would be appealing to others.
• Begin to interact with strangers. Make yourself say hello or some other form of greeting to strangers. You will become more comfortable over time by exposing yourself to many people you will probably never see again.
• Build up your "small talk" ability. Keep up with current events such as popular movies or books. Stay up to date on local happenings and events so that you can make a small comment about them to co-workers.

Being shy can be overcome. The alternative to learning to be less shy is to give up and accept a very lonely life.

There is no reason for you to accept that at all. By using the simple steps you have learned and practicing your social skills you can start to enjoy dating.

In some cases, it is a good idea to look for professional counseling. For most shy people there is at least one trusted friend who can give you support if you will be brave enough to ask for it.

So make a deal with yourself that you will take the steps to overcome your social anxiety and begin to live the life you deserve today.

©2010 Indian Dating Today

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