Six or seven years ago had you asked the question of what online dating was, there would have been a lot of hushed tones from those who either had never been online to find a date or those who had tried it but were in great fear of being outed as a geek instead of sheik.

The world of online dating has changed a lot since then and has shed the stigma of being for geeks, freaks and desperado's. Online dating has exploded so much in the last few years that it has become more of a normal action than a hidden behavior. Instead of being a geek, you are considered part of the "in" crowd.

Because our society has become even more transient and a lot busier than any other time in history, online dating has secured a spot as a normal meeting place and is considered a mainstream part of our social sphere.

People don't have the "time" to get out and meet people the "old fashioned way." It's much easier to log on while you're waiting in an airport, laying exhausted in a hotel, or trying to catch lunch on the go in a café that has free wireless.

People who are tired of the bar scene and the same old selection around their home town have found a new outlet and are looking for a more varied choice in their partner. It's become the hot spot for singles and has been featured on some of the most watched shows and read about in just about every newspaper and magazine available. Young, old, rich, poor and in-between have found love and romance online.

Sites like perfectmatch.com (thanks to the movie / infomercial launch), eharmony.com and others have millions of hopeful daters and mate seekers who use these networks to find their perfect match. Since 2003, more than100 million people have tried online dating.

With so many people logging on for love these days and the plethora of people available for viewing at a click of a button, how can you distinguish yourself from the pack? It all comes down to your "hook" better known as your headline and how compelling you can make it be.

Face it, if the storefront doesn't look good, who will go into the store to buy the merchandise or at least view it? So you must make a compelling enough hook to persuade someone to want to enter your store. Whatever you do, don't lie or exaggerate. You don't want to waste precious resources.

If the perfect person were to enter your store thinking there was water-skiing, sports and fun inside and instead they found a book store filled with historical fiction, they will run faster than a cheetah in the other direction and will have never walked through the secret door that says, 'that's what I want to do, I just don't know how to do it yet.'

Stick to basics and to the truth. They will eventually find out what you look like, your habits and hobbies and how you behave as well as your likes and dislikes anyway, so why not start out on the right foot. Honesty is always the best policy.

No one can create a hook for you, that's like asking someone who doesn't write songs to write the greatest selling hook for your future song. Think hard and don't be cheesy or sleazy unless that's the type of person you are looking for, a one night stand.

Once a potential date gets past the headline, write a compelling profile that leaves something to the imagination. Be sure to include a recent photo of yourself, not one that was taken when your body was ripped. You won't be able to lose the weight or define your abs in the short time it takes for someone to want to meet you for coffee.

When writing your profile jot down things you know about and love to do, not what you would like to know about and would love to do but never have tried, unless you state that clearly. If you say, 'I have always wanted to go skiing, but have never had the opportunity. I am looking for someone who wouldn't mind skiing with a novice or is a novice themselves?,' someone is more likely to appreciate you and find you compelling enough to send you a wink.

You haven't bragged and aren't being cocky. You'll appear to be an honest person and people will want to be part of your life. Be careful because there are a lot of scammers online who want to take advantage of a nice person just because they can. If you have unique talents or gifts, use them to set yourself apart. Again, don't brag. Do you really want to be hanging with someone who likes conceited and arrogant people?

Steer clear of negativity. Someone who is a great person will definitely pass you by if you start talking smack about ex's or what you don't like and/or are tired of. Stick to what you like and what you are looking for. Make the profile brief. Two to four paragraphs is enough (more than enough if you do four). You can catch up more in a conversation via email or phone.

These are just a few tips for you to chew on. Make sure you update your profile often and don't leave it stale. Most important, be safe online. There are a lot of prowlers out there who aren't what they say they are. Always meet in an open and well populated area during daylight hours and always drive your own car. Never give out your home address or phone number when you are first getting to know someone online. Good luck and may love find its way into your heart and stay!

©2006 Jaci Rae

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