Flirting is indeed an art, the art of reaching out with your eyes, smile or a touch which in turn makes someone else feel good about themselves.

People think of flirting as a means of gaining one's attention and it's all about some prelude to a sexual and/or romantic outcome. That is outdated and completely untrue! You must look at flirting as healthy, enjoyable and refreshing for both people involved. It's flattering, enticing and oh so good for your morale. Next time you're out, try smiling at the waiter while being served and making small talk, it will boost your "feel good" hormones and boost another's. That alone is why flirting is essential to every day life!

If you're uncomfortable by the idea of flirting, start by practicing smiling in general, with people you meet. On the bus, the elevator, shopping, waiting in line, (I call this "connecting") and it allows you to build your confidence. Once you're comfortable with this aspect, take it to the next step and that is to make small talk with a person while waiting in line or browsing in a bookstore. Ask for a suggestion, opinion or simply make a comment on the weather. Whether you get a response or not is not important, what is is the fact that you're practicing to "connect".

Taking it a few steps forward to flirting to tease and tantalize and entice someone else. Interestingly enough, two-thirds of the time, women make the first move, even though some men might think it's them. While men usually publicly make the first move, in fact they're responding to unspoken cues from women.

Here are a few tips:

• Smile more often, make it fun! "Act as if" you're a natural flirt!
  
  
• Don't stare. "You want to attract, not attack," hold a gaze for about three seconds.
  
  
• Do not let you eyes roam all over the person's body. Stop at the neck.
  
  
• Keep your shoulders out, turned slightly toward the person. It says, "I'm friendly, approachable and interested." Smile!!!

I know a lot of women are thinking that it's the beautiful woman who is going to get more response but she'll get less of it than a less-attractive woman who's flirting more. TRUST ME ON THIS....it's proven, not something I read about, but proven my moi!!! I am not your typical tall, blond/blue eyed, lanky woman of 27....but a 42 year old, single, Rubenesque, voluptuous woman who feels good about herself and is comfortable flirting.

Remember to take the initiative; other people are shy, too. Any place can be a meeting place. And of course flirting is not a one-shot deal. Try, try, and try again.

"Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and
fifty percent what people think you've got."
Sophia Loren

©2008

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