If you find yourself pausing and wondering "wait, am I chasing him?" there is a very good reason for it. Let's find out if you are.

Okay so you meet a guy and he seems to be everything you want. He's caring, compassionate, attentive, very attractive; confident; self-assured even a bit cocky. He is doing well for himself. He has his own business or it is clear that he is working to get ahead in the company where he is working.

He's an all round "good catch" and someone that you enjoy spending time with. You have been out a couple of times and you have great conversation. He makes you laugh and he is fun to be with. You can see yourself having a future with him because he seems to have it together. You know what I mean ladies, you start thinking "wow this is too good to be true" and "I think he is the one".

So you start to call him just to chat and see how he is doing...and you do this often.

Let's take another scenario. There are many scenarios but the end result is always the same when you are not aware of the problem.

You meet a guy at a party or event of some kind. You two strike up the most thought-provoking conversation. You know, the type that stimulates your mind and gets your creative juices flowing. In addition, he's tall, dark and handsome and there is something about him that intrigues you.

You can just feel that there is a lot more to him and you want to know more. You two exchange numbers and you part ways. You are sure that he is going to call you because the conversation was amazing and you felt a connection. You figure that he is feeling the same way too. Why wouldn't he call?

You expect him to call after a day or two. When a week or a week and a half goes by... you call him because you just cannot take it anymore. You have to talk to him and see how he is doing. If you are honest with yourself, you really want to know if he is interested in you. You hope so because you want to get to know him better. You don't get him the first time you call so you call again...

What I just described seems harmless enough, right? It doesn't seem like you are chasing or pursuing.

Let me show you how you can know for sure. Answer these questions honestly.

• Are you the one initiating all calls and all contact? If every time you talk to the guy you are dating or are interested in it was you who made the call, you are chasing him. If you always beat him to it, you are indeed chasing him. There is NO way that you can tell at this point if he really wants to talk to you or if he is talking to you just because you called and is just humouring you.
  
  
• Are you the one asking him out? If you are the one inviting him out, planning dates and meet-ups, you are chasing him. You have now taken over HIS role and while he may not decline, you are not doing yourself any favours because at this point, you cannot tell if he truly wants to go out with you.

If you answered yes to the above questions, you are indeed chasing him. When you chase him, he cannot ever be attracted to you in the way that he needs to be to allow him to think of you as long term and not just as Plan B. He will become deeply attracted to the woman that he has to pursue and win over.

You deserve much more than being a man's Plan B and you know this. This the time where you need to tell yourself that you deserve more and go out and get more.

You want a man to see you, talk to you and be attracted to you enough to want to do everything in his power to be with you and only you! That is what you deserve, nothing less.

I can show you how to do that by helping you to get a new perspective! If you want to learn how, just go to my blog below!

To become the lady who inspires a man to chase after her go to http://www.howtogetaguyhooked.blogspot.com for the tips and resources you need for the particular type of challenge you face with the guy in your life!

©2010 Alyssa K.

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