In the movies, it’s often the motorcycle-riding, long-haired, rough and tough bad boy who ends up with the beautiful girlfriend. How often do you see the scrawny and awkward accountant sweep the girl off her feet? The storyline is much more likely to be about the accountant’s girlfriend being stolen by the good-for-nothing bad-boy.

The bad-boy phenomenon doesn’t just exist on the theater screen, either. The thug who’s constantly in trouble with the law has a hot babe on his arm, and the dude who looks like he should be on America’s Most Wanted has a girlfriend who could win America’s Next Top Model. These men don’t seem like the warm, cuddly, and considerate types women claim they love. Then why, men want to know, does the bad boy always seem to get the girl?

This seeming contradiction is more than just a little confusing. As men, we’re taught to be a hero and to be “tough,” while also being in touch with our sensitive side. We are taught to treat women well, to be considerate of their feelings, and to try not to offend them. Meanwhile, we witness bad boys treating their girlfriends rudely and being consistently inconsiderate all the while gaining admirers. This is the epitome of unfairness. Exactly what is going on here?

Here’s one word for you: Intrigue. Bad boys are endlessly intriguing to women because they operate differently from the average man. Bad boys are confident and self assured, never caring what others think and not needing the support of other men to boost their self-esteem. This is just part of their appeal. They’ve strayed from the straight-and-narrow path, do what they want, go where they want, and answer to no one. They don’t have to be movie-star handsome to attract women either. Bad boys are a challenge and women love a good challenge.

There’s something about the alpha-male, obey no-one mentality that attracts women like flies to honey. Whether she wants to uncover and polish his “true” self or whether she loves the thrill of the unpredictable ride, she yearns to uncover his mysteries. She knows that she’ll likely get hurt and that he could leave her at any moment, but that’s part of the irrational appeal. His maverick personality is undeniably sexy. Coupled with his confidence, intense character, raw attraction, and power, there’s really no question why women are irresistibly drawn to him.

Does this mean that you should abandon everything you’ve been taught, drop the nice-guy act, and become bad to the bone? Definitely not. However, you can learn a few worthwhile tips from your nemesis. Be confident. Be proud of who you are and do your best in everything. Develop the mindset that you are the best and no one can out-do you. In your relationships, be more deliberate, less available, and more intriguing. If you really have nothing to talk about, read. Find a new hobby. Envision the man you wish you were and become him, wholly and confidently. Analyze traits you think your potential partner would admire in you and work on developing those things.

Changing just a few small things can be a big different. When you are confident, strong, assertive, and successful, women will be attracted to you too. Be intriguing and a bit mysterious. I promise… you don’t have to be a bad boy to get the girl. Just practice exerting some bad-boy charm and you’ll not only end up with a great woman, but also a lasting and healthy relationship a bad-boy could never dream of attaining.

©2005 Bob Grant

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