Understanding Women

When we hear about someone having commitment problems in a relationship, we often think of a man who avoids committing to a serious relationship. However, this is not always the case. For the modern woman, commitment can be scary. A woman is just as likely today to have commitment problems as a man, if not more so. The reason why may surprise you.

Women often complain that there are no eligible men. They struggle to find mates who meet their most basic requirements. However, there are an abundance of young, unmarried, single, and successful men out there just looking for relationships! There isn’t a marked difference between the number of single men and women either. What seems to be the disconnect? Sean, 32, believes that the modern woman isn’t looking for a traditional relationship:

" I have wanted to settle down for a long time now, but women are too interested in their careers, want a casual lover with a fat wallet and nice car, or are simply too scared of the commitment levels required to live with someone. It seems to me, women just aren't ready to compromise their new found strengths and are very frightened of monogamy. Every time I have attempted to have a serious relationship, it is the girl who has panicked when things become more intense."

What exactly is the problem? For one, social change. Feminism has changed women’s role in society so much that it’s practically unrecognizable from what it was a century ago. Women’s salaries in many sectors have increased, more women are graduating from college than men, and women in the workplace are now commonplace.

Financial liberation means a woman no longer has to depend on a man. Women are self sufficient. Birth control has allowed sexual liberty never before seen in history and modern science allows non-traditional conception at a much later age than ever before possible. Women are dominant in many areas that were traditionally considered masculine in the past, even now being the main sexual aggressor in relationships.
The value of marriage has also come under attack.

Modern women often consider marriage to be a one-sided compromise in which they are subjugated. The age of first marriage keeps getting older and older. Instead of walking down the aisle, women are now finding self-fulfillment and developing their career and pursuing a higher education. Since a man isn’t required anymore, women have become very picky about any life partner, if any, she may allow into her life.

If she does get married, it’s easier than ever to get a divorce. Real, long-term commitment is simply not required. A side effect of the feminist movement was the attack on masculinity. To be masculine and macho was put in a very bad light and men were blamed for most problems in the world. Today’s generation of young men are confused.

Many did not grow up with strong male role models and do not know how to act. Divorce left them without a father. Popular culture hasn’t provided them with strong male role models either. The modern man is increasingly feminine and needy. Turn on the TV if you need examples. While a man fights to keep his loved one, the woman has other ideas where she wants to be 10 years from now.

Perhaps she wants to be settled with family, but more likely she wants to be a power-driven career woman. Her man has to shape up or ship out. Relationship boundaries and roles have shifted dramatically and men are confused about what their role is. While men have been brought up since the beginning of time to feel like the breadwinner, modern women struggle to understand this. This is a primal male instinct that shouldn’t be disrespected.

Yet for women who excel in their careers, it may make more economical sense to her that the man cater to her career and stay at home to rear the children. She has no desire to put time aside for family or to make compromises for his career.

As women grow up as independent and successful beings, they become increasingly sophisticated and mature. They are much more sophisticated than men, on average, and know exactly what they want from the relationship. If you get it right on the first date, you have a chance. If you don’t meet her expectations, you don’t have a chance. You probably won’t even know what her standards are, nor will she tell you.

She’s looking for a man who will “compliment” her life and add to her life experiences, so long as she doesn’t have to make compromises. This is next to impossible to achieve in real life. A relationship with a man is a costly investment that can drain a woman emotionally and financially. If he’s not already emotionally self sufficient, he may not be worth her time. She must carefully consider if he’s worth her valuable time.

If she wants to have children, she may be willing to make time for a man. While some women are content to never have children, others look to develop a relationship in order to produce children. A big change from the past is that while men used to run from parental responsibility, they are now fighting to maintain it. Many women are fine with the idea of raising their kids on their own, completely without the child’s father. Fatherhood is undeniably under attack.

Dating in the modern world is a whole new ball game. Women often call the shots now and are dominant in relationships. The modern male has lost his way. Women want a man to be manly, but with conditions. Women simply don’t have to commit anymore. While there are certainly exceptions to this, it is a modern trend that has changed relationship dynamics dramatically.

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