The Singles Cafe

Ten Tips For Setting (And Keeping) Life Changing Resolutions

by

It's time for that annual ritual of making (and breaking) our New Year's resolutions. There is something about the idea of being able to start over that motivates us to pause (at least briefly) and reflect on our lives as they are, as well as how we would like them to be. Yet how many times have you thought back to last year's goals and found that many or most of them were abandoned or just forgotten after a few months into the year?

Many of us have difficulty following through on our resolutions due to factors such as choosing unrealistic goals, not making them challenging enough and/or lacking the necessary motivation to stick with them.

The following tips should help put you on the right course and assist you in staying committed to your most important goals for 2003.

1. Start with a life vision

If you don't know what you want your future to look like, how can you decide what areas of your life need to be worked on? Spend some quiet time TODAY reflecting on (and writing down) what is good, bad or incomplete. Then try to "see" your life if all of these areas were addressed and had become satisfactory to you.

2. Get organized

Clear away clutter. Go through paperwork, files, old bills and receipts, closets, drawers and storage containers. Decide what you need and will use and either throw out or give away all the rest. Put aside some time each week for this purpose. Focus on one area (or box) at a time until you are finished. Having available file drawer space, trash bags, file folders and pens handy will speed things along. Try not to handle any thing more than once. Make a decision and act on it immediately. After you have cleaned out you can think about your existing systems for management and storage and see if these need reworking or just some fine-tuning. Make sure you use ONE calendar to record everything. Otherwise you will either overbook, miss appointments and events or just waste a lot of time trying to constantly go back, re-do and sort out your schedule.

3.Expand your horizons and make a commitment to learning something new.

Challenging yourself will infuse you with greater energy and sense of purpose. It will help build your self-esteem to realize you are capable of more than you had previously believed. This new learning can also give you additional resources to assist you in your career, personal or love life.

4. Set challenging but realistic resolutions

Choose goals that stretch your ability muscles, yet are realistic and therefore less vulnerable to failure. Don't respond to that negative inner voice that says; "oh, I'm not capable of that". Instead, focus on what you truly desire for your life and relationships and let this be your guide.

5. Write down your resolutions

Write them down and stick them on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, your car dashboard, your desk or wherever you know will be a good place for you to see them. You can also show them to a good friend, family member, your coach or anyone who could provide support and encouragement.

6. Create action steps for each resolution; write these down, and keep an accounting of your progress for each.

A resolution without planned action is doomed to failure. Break each goal down into small action steps or objectives. Putting a date for completion will help ensure you follow through. Come up with an accountability system that will work for you. Make sure you check off each accomplishment as you go and be flexible and willing to make adjustments in your action steps in order to achieve your desired end results.

7. Take care of yourself; eat well, exercise regularly and learn to control and eliminate unhealthy stress.

I know this is an obvious one, so why is it often ignored or overlooked when we are attempting to make important life changes? How many times have you said, "I don't have the time" to eat right, exercise, sleep, etc.? Not caring for yourself will guarantee failure. So, why not make this your first and most important resolution for 2003?

8. Work to eliminate bad habits

Including this as a New Year's resolution would put you on the road to good follow-through. Bad habits will sabotage your efforts and use up your limited resources of time, energy and focus. For each bad habit you decide to eliminate, have a good habit in mind to replace it with.

9. Set appropriate and healthy limits in all areas of your life

Knowing your limits and enforcing them with yourself and others is a prerequisite to a healthy life and relationships. Learn to say "no" and "enough" and be firm in your resolve that this is a good thing to do. Otherwise, you will also be undermining your resolution to take care of yourself.

10. Work to be the kind of person you want to be with

Bringing out the best qualities in yourself will help to ensure that you attract people of good quality into your life. You wouldn't want to compromise on the standards you have set for a potential mate. Therefore, it's important to understand that this also holds true for other people in search of relationships.

is a psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and People magazines. She has been featured on ABC news, Discovery Health, AOL news, MSN, and Match. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in "The Business And Practice Of Coaching," ( Norton,September 2005); and is the author of the forward for," Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time" (Simon and Schuster, November 2005). From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.


©2003

line

Back To Article Index


The Truth About Six Pack Abs

The Truth About Six Pack Abs

Stop Making It Harder on Your Body and Start Working WITH Your Body

Think about this... if what you've been doing all these years hasn't been getting you the results you want, doing more of that same thing won't get you any further! If doing 4 hours of cardio a week hasn't worked for you, why do you believe that doing 7 hours of cardio will?

If doing 100 crunches a day hasn't gotten you the results you want, why do you think that doing 200 crunches a day will? Of course you remember that doing the same things over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity!

The truth is that all of these techniques are WRONG and ineffective ways to workout. In fact, doing excessive cardio is actually working against your results because you are stimulating excessive cortisol production in your body and breaking down lean muscle tissue... all of which leads to the slowing down of your metabolic rate over time and deposition of even more belly fat on top of what you already have.

Also, wasting most of your workout time with ineffective abs exercises such as crunches, situps, and torso twists actually goes directly against your fat loss efforts as well. You see, the time you waste with doing all of these fairly ineffective abs exercises, is really just keeping you from doing the truly effective full body exercise combinations that actually stimulate your fat burning hormones and increase your metabolic rate for as much as 24-48 hours after each workout. You don't get that with "ab workouts" or "cardio"!

When you get these types of full body metabolic-surge workouts right, the excess belly fat starts to melt off quicker than you ever could have imagined. Yes, it IS going to take a little work though. You're not going to be able to just be lazy and sit on the couch every day hoping for your dream body to come true. Don't worry though, it's a system that can be applied by anyone, regardless of your age or current conditioning.

Don't delay any longer in developing the body of your dreams! People that keep putting off their goals rarely ever get around to pursuing them. STOP procrastinating and making LAME excuses for why you aren't in the shape you want to be in! Arm yourself with the knowledge TODAY to get the sexy tight body you want, and then ACT on it!


Home
Articles
Columns
Products
Poems
Submit Your Article
Newsletter
Links







Love Notes
by Larry James

Direct Answers
by Wayne & Tamara Mitchell

Dr. Dennis W.Neder
by Dr. Dennis W.Neder

Ask The Coach
by Toni Coleman






Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle

Stop Getting Ripped Off!

Learn the truth about diets, weight loss programs and fat burning supplements

Get the FACTS on exactly how, what & when to eat and how to train to achieve maximum fat loss, without losing muscle or slowing down your metabolism... AND to discover the shocking truth about the diet, weight loss and supplement industries,